My Journey

Be therefore imitators of God, as beloved children.

Walk in love, even as Christ also loved you, and gave himself up for us………..

Ephesians 5:1-2a

In Genesis, we read that the Lord God told Adam, “because you have listened to your wife’s voice and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, Do not eat from it: the ground is cursed because of you. You will eat from it by means of painful labor all the days of your life. It will produce thorns for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. You will eat bread by the sweat of your brow until you return to the ground, since you were taken from it. For you are dust, and you will return to dust.”

Now many will say, after reading this passage, God is mean, unjust, and just cruel. If He is so nice, you would think He would have told Adam, this is only your first mistake, I will give you another chance.

But God is just, and if you are just, you have to do the right and just thing, the law demands it. If you did not, then you are not just.

The Lord God, who created Adam told Adam up front, before hand, “You are free to eat from any tree of the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. For on the day you eat from it, you shall certainly die.” What did the Lord God actually say to Adam, “All these trees, here in the garden, you can freely eat from; all of them. But there is one that will cause you to die, don’t eat from that tree. I have given you life, but this fruit, that offers the knowledge of good and evil (Law), causes death.”

Before Adam gained the knowledge of the law. In God’s holiness, God only had to share His grace with Adam, not His justice. Paul clearly gives us the reason the Lord God told Adam not to eat from that tree. The law produces wrath. And where there is no law, there is no transgression. Romans 4:15

What we also neglect to read, and understand, is the Lord God firstly told the serpent (Satan), “Because you have done this, you are cursed more than any livestock and more than any wild animal. You will move on your belly and eat dust all the days of your life. I will put hostility(enmity) between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed. (just a note: the woman does not have seed, the man does. The Lord God was letting us know right from the beginning that a miraculous (virgin) birth would occur). He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel. ”God was telling Satan that a man, born of a woman, will someday deliver a mortal blow to Satan. In this same verse, the Lord God is telling everyone, that Yeshua the Messiah (the Christ), Jesus Christ, will someday come and defeat Satan, along with the sin that Adam just committed, and death because of the knowledge of good and evil. In Christ, the Lord God would once again, in grace, meet, walk, and talk with His creation

I have been a Christian now for 38 years. I put my faith in Jesus Christ when I was 34 years old. Over these last 38 years, I have heard a certain theme about God. He is mean, demanding, unjust, angry, kills people, often good people, and even lets children starve. Many who think this, who believe this, I have found never studied, much less read, the only Book that actually reveals who God is.

There are some who claim they have read the Bible, but also say it was for the purpose of finding errors in it. And there are others who have started out with that same purpose, and have come to believe the Bible is the perfect, inerrant Word of God. There are others who believe, but do not read the Bible. Often I have found that it is because they are just not readers. However they believe and are often eager to hear and know more about the Bible. Then there are others who were told about the wonderful love that God has for them. And because of His love, He sent his Son, to pay for the sin Adam did, and all the sins they have done. They believed what they heard, and then began reading about it, in the Bible.

Of course there our also those that I have met, that do not believe there is such a thing as sin, or say they have never sinned. To these people I only remind them of what the Apostle John wrote. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 1John 1:8. With that said, I cannot stop there, but must tell you the next thing John said. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1John 1:9

One does not have to read the Bible to be saved, it is Jesus Christ who saves. Yet by reading about this love that God shows to His creation, in Christ; gives the believing reader the opportunity, and ability to grow in that faith.

If one reads the Bible, one would find out that it is the devil that had the power of death. Since then the children have shared in flesh and blood, he also himself (Christ) in like manner partook of the same, that through death he might bring to nothing him who had the power of death, that is the devil. And might deliver all of them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage. Hebrews 2:14-15.

It is Satan that hates what the Lord God created and has always wanted the human race dead. It is Adams original sin that caused a curse on the earth. It is because of that sin, we see disease, sickness, hate, and everything that lends itself to the destruction of human life. The good news is, Christ took the power of death from the devil, and offers life, health, and His love to all.

Now as for God being mean, demanding, unjust, angry, kills people, often good people, and even lets children starve. To those accusations, I say the law is demanding, we are unjust, and usually angry. People kill people, and it is people who cause children to starve.

God causes the crops to grow every year in most places around the world. The world grows more food for every man, woman, and child than we can eat. The world produces enough food to feed everyone. (www.worldhunger.org) The principle problem is that many people in the world still do not have sufficient income to purchase (or land to grow) enough food.(www.worldhunger.org)

Yet, the United States alone sends thousands and thousands of tons of free food to starving nations every year, yet the children continue starve. Those who receive and hand out that food though, seem never to starve. The leaders of those poor starving countries, never look like they are starving. Why is that? Have you ever asked yourself that question.

Let me finish with this; why do so many hate God and will not read the Bible? Well the Bible gives us the answer. For when they knew God, they neither glorified Him as God, nor were thankful, but became vain in there imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man, and to birds and four footed beasts and creeping things. Romans 1

This same Bible tells us also how much God loves us, and His whole creation. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

 

 

 

My Journey

I hope all of you SLL/CLL and CLL patients are doing well. Lot of great news in the advancements of new medicines. Iburtnib has been giving good results, and has been approved for sale in the USA. It had been approved originally, for only chromosome 17p patients, but I believe it now approved for all chromosome deletions. Please correct if I am wrong on the approval for all patients. Also I have been reading that a Phase 1 trial of second generation BTL inhibitor, ACP-196, and has been demonstrating some very good results.

DATE	WBC	HGB	PLT	ALC	Lymphocytes/
12/26/10	15.6	12.8	87	4.3	100 Leukocytes
01/10/11	15.8	13.3	112	4.3	27.00%
01/19/11	11.7	13.1	78	4.2	36.00%
02/17/11	12.5	13.7	87	4.5	36.00%
05/12/11	11.6	11.9	77	5.5	47.00%
08/08/11	13.3	12.4	85	7.63
09/08/11	18.5	12.9	63	13.5
10/20/11	15.7	12.1	60	8.6	55.00%
12/21/11	13.4	11.9	64	7.85	58.00%
01/06/12	12.5	11.7	63		62.00%
01/26/12	11.1	11.1	62	8.4
04/26/12	11	11.4	54	7.4	67.00%
05/25/12	11.7	11.1	53	8.1	69.00%
06/22/12	12.4	11.4	59	8.7	70.00%	Started eating
08/19/12	9.7	10.7	63	5.9		Bitter
12/03/12	9.1	11.1	73	5.1	55.00%	Apricot Seeds
03/04/13	6.1	10.3	63	2.94	48.10%	06/02/12
06/03/13	6.6	11	72	2.6	44.20%
08/08/13	6.4	11.1	101	1.89	29.70%
09/05/13	5.8	11.9	88	1.59	27.40%
12/05/13	5.5	12.7	88	1.29	23.70%
03/05/14	5.8	12.8	80	1.21	20.70%
08/14/14	3.9	12.8	85	0.89	22.60%
09/05/14	6.8	12.7	80	0.92	14.50%
	Normal WBC	Normal HGB	Normal PLT	Normal ALC	Normal Ly
	4.0-10.6	12.8-17.0	150	1.0-3.7	16.2% to 48.2%

As you can see from my last results, my blood readings are staying fairly close to normal, with the exception of course, my platelets. My lymph-nodes went back to normal well over a year ago, and are still that way. My spleen is just a bit enlarged over normal, but undetected to the touch.

I have cut back from eating 18 bitter apricot seeds, to 15 a day. I would like to see my ALC numbers get back into the normal range. Even though they are low, I see that my white blood cell count is in the normal range, and I am thankful that I have no infections, nor illnesses, like any of the current bugs, that are going around. With all of the illnesses around me, I think of Psalms 91:1-4 (AMP). He who dwells in the secret place of the most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty (Whose power no foe can withstand). I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him I lean and rely, and in Him I (confidently) trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the deadly pestilence.

All in all, I am feeling fantastic. I will be seeing my Oncologist in March, I am looking forward to seeing what my blood counts will be.

Peter said, “Repent and be baptized …………” If you were like me, you were told that this meant that you first change the way you do things, then you get baptised for the remission of sins. However the Greek word used for repent is matanoeo, which means to change one’s mind, or to think differently. It has nothing to do with changing things, but thinking differently (or changing your way of thinking.)

What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave He ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost. Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons wh need no repentance. Luke 15

Wait one minute, where and when did this lost sheep repent? In this whole story, I read no where that this lost sheep repented. This lost sheep did not change direction and try to come home. This lost sheep did not say it was sorry for going astray. This lost sheep did nothing but let his Shepard put him on his shoulders. It was the Shepard who rejoiced. It was the Shepard who carried the lost sheep home. It was the Shepard who calls all his friends and neighbors together asking them to rejoice with him, because he had found his lost sheep.

All this lost sheep did, was to rely on his Shepard to do everything.

So what is repentance? Relying on the Good Shepard, Jesus Christ to do everything. It is changing our minds from what we must do to be saved, to what Christ has done to save us.

My Journey

I have been spending a lot of time lately thinking about Christians. That is, I have not been thinking about those who by words, say they are Christians.  I have been thinking about those who have faith, in Jesus Christ. I have been thinking about those who by faith believe He was God in the flesh, and is God. By faith that He died and was raised again, and believe by faith, that in Him and Him only is salvation.

I began wondering how do these Christians understand the Gospel of Jesus Christ?

With that thought, I began to think about those early Galatian Christians, where legalist came into the Galatian church and began preaching that they needed the law to complete their faith in Christ for salvation. Because of that false teaching, Paul wrote a letter to them.

In that letter, he begins by telling them that Christ won the victory over the law, sin, and death.  “Paul and apostle, (not of men, neither by man, but by Jesus Christ, and God the Father, who raised him from the dead.” He then greets those Christians in the Galatian church, by writing, “Grace be to you, and peace, from God the Father, and from our Lord Jesus Christ.”  Then not very far into his letter, He calls these legalist, teachers of the law, false apostles.

Grace remits sin, and peace quiets the conscience. Sin and conscience can torment us, but Christ has overcome these fiends now and forever. Grace involves the remission of sins, and peace, a happy conscience. Sin is not canceled by lawful living, for no person is able to live up to the law. The law reveals guilt, and fills us with despair. Grace and peace make a person strong, and courageous to bear and to overcome all difficulties, because we have the victory of Christ’s death and the assurance of the forgiveness of our sins.

Sin cannot harm those who believe in Christ, because He has overcome sin by His death. The genius of Christianity takes the words of Paul “who gave himself for our sins” as true and efficacious.

The false apostles objection to Paul’s Gospel is identical to that recorded in the fifteenth chapter of the Book of Acts to the effect that it was not enough for the Galatians to believe in Christ, or to be baptized. But that it was needful to circumcise them, and to command them to keep the law of Moses.

I must say that every teacher of work-righteousness is a trouble maker. Paul continues in verse 7 to say that they pervert the Gospel of Christ, or in other words, “these false apostles do not merely trouble you, they abolish Christ’s Gospel.

Christ and the law cannot dwell side by side in the conscience. It is either grace or law. To muddle the two is to eliminate the Gospel of Christ entirely. To mix law and Gospel not only clouds the knowledge of grace, it cuts out Christ altogether.

The Bible clearly teaches that we are all naturally depraved. Let man’s free will, strength, wisdom, and righteousness be condemned. We attain grace by the free mercy of God alone for Christ’s sake.  I know this is a hard saying to hear, and brings disfavor to those who say it. But I am reminded of what a preacher, not so long ago said, “If you preach the Gospel of Grace, and no one condemns you, then you are not preaching the same Gospel of Grace that Paul preached.”

The truth of justification is fragile. Not that justification itself is fragile, for it is not. Ah, but our knowledge of it is. I know how quickly we can forfeit the joy of the Gospel in the midst of trouble. In those times of conflict, we should be consoling ourselves with the Gospel.

Knowing that the flesh resists the Spirit, or as Paul puts it, “The flesh lusteth against the Spirit.”  We by our own reasoning, say that to know Christ, and to believe in Him is no achievement of man, but the gift of God. This Gospel of Grace gives glory to God alone, and none to man. Never can too much glory, goodness, and mercy be ascribed unto God.

On the question of justification, one must remain solid, or else we lose the truth of the Gospel. It is a matter of life and death. It involves the death of the Son of God, who died for the sins of the world. If we surrender faith in Christ, as the only thing that can justify us, then the death and resurrection of Jesus are without meaning.

Some will tell me the Law is divine and holy, and to that I agree. So it is divine and holy, but it has no right to tell me that I must be justified by it. The Law has a right to tell me that I should love God, and my  neighbor. It has every right to tell me that I should live in chastity, temperance, patience and so on. But it has no right to tell me how I may be delivered from sin, death, and hell. It is the business of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to tell me that. We must listen to the Gospel, for it tells us not what we must do, but what Jesus Christ, the Son of God, has done for us.

I conclude that the true Gospel is; we are justified by faith alone, without the deeds of the law.

My thanks to the Apostle Paul and Martin Luther.

My Journey

Over the last twelve months, I have had the good fortune of being able to write, in my blog, the gains I have been having, battling my cancer.

I received my blood readings today, while at the doctors office for my annual check-up. The last entry, dated 08/8/13 is what they currently are. My doctor made an appointment for me to have a sonogram, so they can know exactly how much my spleen has gotten smaller. She believes it is back to normal, as she could not touch it anymore.

DATE	WBC	HGB	PLT	ALC
12/26/10	15.6	12.8	87
01/10/11	15.8	13.3	112	4.3
01/19/11	11.7	13.1	78	4.2
02/17/11	12.5	13.7	87	4.5
05/12/11	11.6	11.9	77	5.5
08/08/11	13.3	12.4	85	7.63
09/08/11	18.5		63
10/20/11	15.7	12.1	60	8.6
12/21/11	13.4	11.9	64
01/06/12	12.5	11.7	63
01/26/12	11.1	11.1	62
04/26/12	11	11.4	54
05/25/12	11.7	11.1	53	8.1	Started Seeds beginning of June 2012
06/22/12	12.4	11.4	59	8.7
08/19/12	9.7	10.7	63	5.9
12/03/12	9.1	11.1	73	5.1
03/04/13	6.1	10.3	63	2.94
06/03/13	6.6	11	72	2.6
08/08/13	6.4	11.1	101	1.89
	Normal WBC	Normal HGB	Normal PLT	Normal ALC
	4.0-10.6	12.8-17.0	150	1.0-3.7

For the first year and one half, I had seen my blood counts moving in the wrong direction, showing my doctor and me, that the cancer was becoming more aggressive. It was at the point where I was told that the best course of action was either a stem cell transplant, or a clinical trial. It was agreed that with my chromosome 17p deletion, chemotherapy may not be very effective.

Since that gray day in May 2012,  knowing I was stage 4, I have seen my cancer go from getting ever more aggressive to remission.  All of this happening without chemotherapy, stem cell transplant, or clinical trial.

I do continue to eat 15 to 18 bitter apricot seeds everyday. I have an apple twice a week, and also the seeds in it. I call it God’s chemotherapy.

As I look back on that day in 2010, when I was first told I have cancer, I have come to realize that it is not just cancer, but a terminal disease. It was March 2011 when the doctor told me I had Small Lympocytic Lymphoma/Chronic Lympocytic Leukemia (SLL/CLL) and that there was no cure. I guess that was a nice way of saying your cancer is terminal.

(Bing dictionary: causing death: inevitably, but often gradually leading to death of the patient affected.)

While focusing on what has happened to me, I remembered back to the time when I first realized that everyone, including myself had a terminal condition.

However this terminal condition was and is, far worse than the physical one I have now. This one is eternal, forever, with no end.

God wrote in stone what His commandments (the law) were. And to fix them in stone, must mean they are quite important.

   1.  I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt have no other gods besides Me.

   2.  Thou shalt not make for thyself  any graven image.

   3.  Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

   4. Remember the Sabbath, to keep it holy.

   5. Honor thy Father and Mother.

   6. Thou shalt not murder.

   7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.

   8. Thou shalt not steal.

   9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

 10. Thou shalt not covet.

So I thought back to the time when I asked myself, okay what commandments have I broken?  To many, was my answer. Then I realized that if it was only one, I would still be guilty under the law. So without listing all of them in order again, I knew I was an idolater, adulterer, thief, liar, and so on.

As I began to read more of what God had to say, I came across these verses. Romans 2:15 clearly shows that the works of the law are clearly written in our hearts, as our conscience bears witness to it.

Now Romans 3:19 says: “Now we know that whatsoever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God.”

And “Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall be no flesh justified in His sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin.” Romans 3:20

So I thought, when God judges me, am I innocent of sin, or guilty of sin? I had to conclude, if I was to be honest with myself, I am guilty of sin.  I read that the wages of sin is death. Of course back then I was very healthy and realizing that sin led to death, I found nothing appealing about it. I also did not find the second death very appealing either. I did not want to go to hell, period.

Realizing how serious God was about sin, and how severe sin really is, I asked Jesus Christ to save me. I truly felt sorry for everything wrong I had done, even though I knew I could not make most of them right. I still believed Jesus would and could save me from the holy judgment of God. Now more than thirty years later, I am confident He did.

Now in this present time of my life, physical death does not seem as bad to me, as it once did. But that second death, well I am still not crazy about it, and you shouldn’t be either.

“And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death.” Revelations 20:14.

“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murders and whore mongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone; which is the second death.” Romans 21:8.

Well if the above is true, then God must punish law breakers. But I am told, He is to good to let people go to hell. Well, if someone steals from me, goes to court, is found guilty, under the law, and then the good judge lets that person go. I would not conclude that the judge is good. It is just the opposite, those under the law are found guilty because the judge is good.

So if God is truly good, then He must be just. That’s just great, because He is good, and I have broken  His laws, I must pay. So the wages of sin is truly death!  So how do I get out from being under the law?

Since that time way back in 1978 I have heard many people, over the years, say many things concerning God, I have been told about His goodness, His meanness, His anger, His Holiness, and every other description that man could think of.

Then I read what Jesus Christ says, “take my yoke and put it upon yourself, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest unto your souls.”

But wait I then read that God commended His love toward me, in that while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me. Romans 5:8.

And again I read that Christ died for my sins according to God’s word.  1Corinthians 15:3

Then I am told that Christ redeemed me from the curse of the law. Galatians 3:13.

So what am I to make of all of this? Because God is good, He will fulfill His justice, according to the law. And  then I find He has fulfilled the demands of the law.

By His goodness, He sent His only begotten son, Jesus Christ, to stand in my, our place, and receive His judgment.

For the wages of sin is truly death, but the gift of God is eternal life. How? Through Jesus Christ.

For the son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister and to give his life a ransom for many.

So if your heart condemns you because of the commandments of God (law), know that God is greater than our hearts, and knoweth all things. Also know that the Son of God is come, and has given us an understanding that we may know Him that is true, and we are in Him that is true, even in his son Jesus Christ. This is the true God and eternal life.

I was told by someone, this all sounds great, but you must really believe it, not just say you do. That person was absolutely correct, and without realizing it, knows what the Gospel really is.

“If you will confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus Christ, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” “For with the heart, man believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. “Romans 10:9&10.

We hear a watered down gospel these days, God is love, God forgives, God cares about you, and all of that is true. But we have neglected to say that God is also Just, and Holy. There is no darkness in Him at all. He renders judgment on those who are under the law, and have not followed the law.

After revealing the whole truth, as written in His word, then and only then can we declare what else He has done.

For Christ is the end of the law, for righteousness to everyone who believeth. -AND- Knowing that man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ and that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.

I would like to thank all of you who read my blog. May God show you His truth in all matters.

My Journey

As most of you know by now,  I have CLL (Chronic Lympocytic Leukemia) and finally found out what the percentage of my 17p deletion was, I calmly accepted it, realizing once again that God has known from the beginning what it was. I know it did not come as a suprise to Him.

With that in mind I was reading a article from my favorite pastor, Pastor John Glenn.  I saw myself in this article, so I would like to share a few of these thoughts as well as some of mine own.

Hebrews 12: 1,2, “Wherefore, seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doeth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.“

These words were given to all believers to help them realize the significance of their lives here on this earth. They were written to encourage everyone, but as I read them, I saw them as being written clearly for my encouragement.  I, as well as every believer in Jesus Christ is viewed by the writer as Olympic athletes running a race in front of a heavenly crowd of those who have gone on before us. So I am told to “lay aside every weight” or the bondage of the law, and the “besetting sin” of my natural unbelief so I may run with endurance the race that I am in. In short, I am to run my race in the grace of God rather than the energy of my own religious flesh.

The key to my victory in this race is looking unto “Jesus the author and finisher of our faith“. He is the author and originator of my faith, and he is the finisher, the one who will complete it in me. It is in his strength that I can run the race and his joy that gives me the endurance I need to finish my course.

Even though it appeared to all that Jesus was losing, especially as he hung on the cross; his resurrection from the dead and ascension to the throne of God proves that he was victorious. The writer of Hebrews tells me that what motivated Jesus through the difficult times was the joy he experienced in submitting to the will of the Father. Because of that joyful and confident expectation of his ultimate victory, Jesus was able to “despise the shame” by enduring all that was involved in his sacrifice on the cross and completing his work of saving humanity.

 As I run the race that is set before me, I too may experience some difficult times in which it looks like I am going to lose somehow. I should not expect to avoid the hard times, but seek to endure them in the same joy that motivated Jesus.

When I finish my race, it is my hope and my prayer, that my grandchildren know that I have fought a good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith.

Each of us has our own unique race to run in the grace of God. All who believe on Jesus are called to do his works and greater because he has gone back to the Father and left us here to love one another.

Thanks be to God who has made all who believe in Jesus Christ, more than conquerors.

My Journey

It has been awhile since my last blog, but honestly, I was just not in the proper frame of mind to write anything.

Let me begin by telling you that I had very high hopes of getting into a clinical trial that looked to be the answer to my SLL/CLL 17p deletion problem. My doctor ordered all the tests I needed to send for my approval of entering the trial. I was told that I was perfect for this trial, especially as no other therapies offered good results for me. The day I received my results, and was getting them ready to mail, I received a call from the Chief doctor of the clinical trial, informing me that the trail had been filled, and there were no more spaces for me.

After several hours of concern, doubt, and worry, these words entered my mind. We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.

I say this with humility, but never less it is true. I slept very good that night, and so far every night since then.

I was reminded this morning, of that day, and wanted to share this.

One main problem with walking by faith is it often causes us to worry. Why is that? Well “faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” It is impossible to walk by faith and see or know how something, or for that matter anything, is going to work out. In fact, the more we want to walk by faith the more evidence we see that things are not working out so well. We continually imagine how they could work out, or how they should work out, but usually end up disappointed as one scheme after another seems to fall apart.

I believe this is why Jesus broke this faith business down for us in the Sermon on the Mount. When Jesus calls on us to quit worrying about our lives so much, He uses the analogy of the birds and wildflowers in nature. In this sermon, He illustrates the faithfulness of God to meet our needs continuously. Jesus says, “take no thought of your life, or what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor for your body to what you should wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing.” In other words, stop worrying and scheming to make things happen. Then He talks about God taking care of the birds, and how the flowers grow without having to do anything. Then Jesus concludes with, “if God does this for the birds and flowers, don’t you realize that He will do even more for you, ye of little faith.” He then reminds us that no amount of worry can change us in any way, and calls on us to focus our attention on God’s kingdom and His righteousness instead.                                                                                                              

I know this will sound contrary to most; Christians as well as non-christians. For most of us plan daily to do what is needed to succeed.  But I say that living in these times, being that most are living on the edge, this admonition to stop worrying is just as relevant today as it was when Jesus gave this sermon 2000 years ago.              

Jesus hits the nail on the head when he refers to us as, “ye of little faith”.  Please realize that this statement from Jesus is not so much a rebuke as it is an explanation of our problem. It’s not that we don’t have enough faith (the faith as small as a mustard seed is enough to move mountains), but that we seldom use the faith we have been given. Rather than trust God to do what He says He will do, we prefer to worry, complain, and then attempt to fix the problem as quick as possible. Have you noticed how quickly we forget about things God has miraculously provided for us in the past? That’s because faith must be exercised daily rather than just once in a while.

Jesus knows we are going to worry about our lives each day, so He directs us to “seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness”. Instead of thinking about our own needs and planning how we are going to get them met, we are told to seek the kingdom of God. This is the place where God is in charge and makes all the decisions. Seeking this kingdom means that we actually want and trust Him to decide what needs to be done regardless of what it may mean to us personally. Plus we are to seek His righteousness, meaning that we are to concern ourselves with living out the life of Christ in the midst of our circumstances. Our lives are much more than what we have and experience in this physical world, we who believe in Christ Jesus, are really awesome spirit beings who are inseparably joined to Christ. He may make our life comfortable in this country, by His mercy, but we are not here just to be comfortable and have a good time. We are here to be Christ to others! We are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus unto good works which He before ordained that we should walk in them.

Instead of worrying about what is going to happen to me tomorrow, I am called to deal with who I am, and what my purpose is today. Do I have what I need to love others like Christ right now? Can I actually care about others around me today? I have enough problems to deal with today; so I need not worry, nor scheme about those that are coming tomorrow.

Our calling of God in Christ Jesus is summarized by the new command to love others like Christ. That we can do no matter what circumstances we face each day. By exercising that tiny faith I have been given, I attempt to love others believing the promise of God. I’ll attempt to face tomorrow the same way.

My Journey

February is almost over, time does not stand still for anyone. This month has been a very joyous one for my wife and me. We had visiting with us one of our daughters, her husband and their three children, our grandchildren.

We spend several days at the Magic Kingdom, and had a wonderful time. The weather was perfect, not to hot, with low humidity. We could not have asked for better weather, or better times. We were able to go on all the rides, and see all the other sites we wanted to see. We stayed there until 1:00 am and all of us had a great time. I have been a blessed man.

I have been feeling really good, just like I felt several years ago. I am finding that I do not lose my breath as quickly as before, I have not bruised for quite some time now, and I have no pain at all. My lympnodes have gone down a bit, and I have no pain in my spleen, even though the sonogram showed it was at 20 cm. I have not changed anything I had been doing, but something seems to have changed. My numbers had been falling rapidly for several months, and just when I thought I would have to start chemo, my numbers leveled out. My doctor, who was preparing me for FCR in January 2012, said lets stay on w&w.

I do not like to go to the doctor’s office, and I have not changed on that. However, I am looking forward to seeing my Oncologist in April, really believing that maybe my blood counts may be somewhat better than before. I have no way of telling, but feeling the way I do, I am hoping for the best. I know that with what I have, everything points that this may not be the case, but hope is a wonderful thing. It is  one of those things that God makes available to us.

Romans 5:1-5 – Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that,  but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Again I want to thank all of you who have been praying for me. I am so grateful that many of you think of me often.

Hezekiah’s Life Extended 2 Kings 20:1-6

In those days Hezekiah was sick and near death. And Isaiah the prophet, the son of Amoz, went to him and said to him, “Thus says the Lord: ‘Set your house in order, for you shall die, and not live.’”

Then he turned his face toward the wall, and prayed to the Lord, saying, “Remember now, O Lord, I pray, how I have walked before You in truth and with a loyal heart, and have done what was good in Your sight.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.

And it happened, before Isaiah had gone out into the middle court, that the word of the Lord came to him, saying, “Return and tell Hezekiah the leader of My people, ‘Thus says the Lord, the God of David your father: “I have heard your prayer, I have seen your tears; surely I will heal you. On the third day you shall go up to the house of the Lord. ⁶ And I will add to your days fifteen years.

In the following verses, Hezekiah asks for a sign, and is granted one. My wife did not ask for a sign, but I did get up and leave the hospital on the third day, after being told I would have to start chemotherapy immediately. It has been over a year now, and I am still on watch and wait, and in my fourth year of having SLL/CLL with a 17p deletion.

My wife found these verses the night I was told I had cancer, late stage cancer, and she has held fast to these verses, living with fear some days, but not doubting that Gods promise to Hezekiah is also a promise to me. She has been an anchor, for me, in a very serious storm.

Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous person avails much.

Here’s to another wonderful day, in this beautiful creation, that God made.

My Journey

Hello to all on this beautiful January 4th day. It was quite cold last night, and I believe the temps went down to 29 degrees. I covered my tomatoes, so they look ok, but I will be covering them again tonight, just to be safe.

I cut my arm on my golf bag the other day, and after keeping it clean, ozonal ointment, and covered, it is getting red and sore. I am hoping that it will heal soon, but will show it to my doctor on the 13th. I will be getting blood tests this week, with a follow-up the following week, then have to get blood tests again later this month, before seeing the Oncologist. I am hoping for the best, but being a realist, I will take what ever the results are, why, I have no choice.

I have been eating real well, juicing, eating raw vegetables, with fish or chicken. Can’t do much more, but to try to stay as healthy as possible. Need to exercise more, but finding it hard to, as I have always been a person that likes to accomplish something when I am moving. Walking is not my idea of  getting something done.

Question: Why is it so important for Christians to attach our faith so securely to biblical authority? We cannot deny the omnipotent work of the Holy Spirit in opening our hearts to the very essence of His truth. But we also cannot deny that many aspects of the gospel challenge our mortal minds. Yet these very elements are the essential components of the message.

Let me list just a few.

• God became human.
• He was born of a virgin.
• God placed Himself under the condemnation of a criminal’s death.
• He rose from the dead.
• All humanity is essentially evil because of sin.
• We all face judgment because of sin.
• To accept Christ we must deny ourselves to follow Him.
• No matter what we want to think or believe, there is only one narrow way of salvation.

If you are ever going to share this message, you’d better have it on very good authority. If someone asked you today why they should believe such a message, what would you say?

Simply to say that you have “experienced Christ” is subjective and does not answer the question for anyone but yourself. Who is to say your experience is genuine? The gospel surely has to be linked to a source of ultimate authority and objective truth. Will scientific evidence by itself settle the debate that the Bible is correct? I doubt it, even though the more that is found, the more everything points to God and creation. However everyone has presuppositions, and different world views. In other words evolutionist, atheists, old age theists, have different ultimate standards by which all evidence is interpreted. We can look at the same evidence, and depending upon our world view, come up with different conclusions.

However, when I look at morality, without the God of the Bible, there is no logical reason to believe in any sort of moral imperative. Some will say that people create their own moral code apart from God. However this is silly reasoning, because if everyone can create their own morality, then no one could argue that what other people do is actually wrong. So if someones moral code is to harm others, then who can say they are wrong. Some may say that morality is what the majority decides it to be. Don’t think so, remember Hitler. And one other I can think of is, morality is just relative. Some have told me, there is no such thing as absolute morality, therefore you should not try to enforce your personal moral code on other people. Wait a minute, when I am told that “I should not”, then they are doing just what they told me not to do.

There our other things that show me the Bible is true, and to be believed. I may talk about them in other posts, but for today, I think I have exhaled enough on those who tell me not to use the Bible in todays debates or conversations. I can only use that which I believe to be true, others may use what they believe to be true. I chose believing the God of the Bible, others may choose what others, others like you and me who are finite, write or say.

I have not said anything about SLL/CLL, or any other cancer today, but will be updating important articles that I my be told by my doctors, or what I read.

My Journey

After reading my last blog, I think I may have been a bit down, when I started writing it. I am happy that it got more positive as it went on, but wow, sometimes you’re in the dumps, and just don’t realize it.

It’s another new day though, and I find my spirit is joyful, and happy. So I would like to talk a bit about Christmas. When I was a small boy, every Christmas, my father would decorate the inside and outside of our house. It was a joyous time, exciting, fun, and eventually the morning I was waiting for would arrive. I was never privy to the presents under the tree, until Christmas morning, as my parents would place all gifts under and around the tree on Christmas Eve.

After I would go to bed I would lay awake, hoping to hear the sleigh and reindeer on the roof, and one Christmas eve, I think I did, well when you are five years old, you do. My bedroom was on the top floor of our three-story home, and I was just under the roof where Santa would land, and then down the chimney he would come. I never did hear him come down the chimney, as I must have fallen asleep. But for sure he did come down that chimney, because when I got up in the morning, there were presents galore. All wonderful presents that a five-year old boy would enjoy. I can’t remember any of them now, but I am sure they were just right that morning. My whole family, which was made up of two older brothers, one older sister, and my mom and dad, would sit around the tree, and open all the gifts that has been left there by that guy in the red suit. We would have oranges, apples, bananas, and other fruit in our stockings, but the main treat was always under that beautiful real, decorated, wonderful smelling pine tree.

As I got older, I began to realize what Christmas was really about, a gift yes, a gift that was given to the whole world, by the one who created the whole world. You can read what that gift was and still is, in Isaiah 7:14: Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. Micah 5:2: But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times. Hosea 11:1: When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. Isaiah 9:6-7 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this. Psalm 72:17: May his name endure forever; may it continue as long as the sun. All nations will be blessed through him, and they will call him blessed.

Of course there are many more references to who that gift is, I just wanted to mention a few. If you find that you may want to know more about this gift, please let me know, as this gift is available to everyone, all colors, all shapes, all ages, all incomes, all nationalities, all who seek to know him.

To my many partners sharing the same battle I am, I would encourage you, to look into this gift. It is free, you do not have to work to get it, nor do you have to pay anyone for it. This gift I am telling you about may not cure your SLL/CLL, or any other illness, while you live in this current body, but you can be sure that this gift will cure you when you leave this body, and that cure will be everlasting.

So to all out there in cyber-land, Merry Christmas to you all, and thank him, who was and is the Word, was and is with God, and was and is God. And thank him that became flesh and dwelt among us. John 1:1, 14. Yes that is correct, I am talking about Jesus Christ, the gift, given to us, who was born in Bethlehem just over 2000 years ago.

My Journey

Another day, again giving thanks to the one, who gives me breath, happiness, joy, security, significance, and love. If you are just reading this blog for the first time, then you may not know who that is. He has been called, man of sorrows, wounded and crushed, acquainted with bitterest grief, I turned my back on him, and he loved me, when I hated him, he gave himself for me.

He is also known as, Counselor, The Word, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace, the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End, Physician, Lord of Lords. He’s known by many other names, names that almost all have heard. On that day, every knee shall bow, and everyone one shall confess, that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of the Father (Phil 2). He is loving, kind, caring, forgiving, all-powerful, able to forgive you, just ask Him and know for yourself.

For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate me from the love of God, that is in Jesus Christ, my Lord (Rom 8).

Why have I said all of the previous words? Just so you may know, what I know and believe; nothing more, nothing less. We all have opportunity in this life to see and live out, truth and lies, love and hate, joy and sadness, fear and security, humility and pride, health and sickness, life and death. How we chose to live our lives, in these bodies, makes a difference. A difference to those we live with, live near, work with, love, hate, help, hinder, and the list goes on. Most of us, if not all of us, at some time in our earthly lives, have strived for love instead of hate, have joy not sadness, security instead of fear, humility over pride, and health much more than sickness. And with these times, came assurances within ourselves, that we are good people, certainly better than the murderer, thief, drug addict, and immoral person.

It is a wonderful thing to strive for those things that are good, right, and clean, but be not deceived. For when I weighted my goodness, my good intentions, my righteousness, with my pride, hatred, lies, sickness, I found myself wanting, empty, and fearful. When I became honest with myself, I found that all the good I had done, had still fallen short of what I could have done. I am very important to myself, and my self well-being. What is wrong with that, maybe nothing, but it caused me to fall short of the righteous person I was striving to be.  As you look honestly within yourself, do you see an imperfect person, wanting to do the right thing, for the right reason, but often falling short of that goal.

We all believe in something, or someone. There is the earth to believe in (mother earth), the sun maybe, then there is Buddha, Alla, Satan, Myself, Evolution, Materialism, Science, Jesus Christ, and on and on we go. You see, we all believe, the difference is who or what. To my way of thinking, I am going to know, as best as I can what or who I believe in. I am not going to listen to someone tell me why I should believe in, or not believe in someone, or something. I am going to find out, the best I can, for myself why I believe in what I believe. When I have decided who or what it is, then I am going to get more information, as much information as I can, why I believe that something or someone. Do you believe that mother earth is the source of all life, then find out why you believe that, and be ready to explain why. How about Allah, or Buddha, or yourself, maybe evolution, or even Jesus Christ. Ask yourself, are my sources reliable, have they been sifted like wheat, tested over time, how do they stand in todays light.

The Bible goes back about 3300 years (Torah) 1300 BC with the New Testament of the Bible being written between 50 and 90 AD, Buddhism began in 563 BC, Quran was first revealed by Muhammad in 610 AD, Evolution around 520 BC by Anaximander, a Greek philosopher, although Charles Darwin in 1859, was the first to come up with a viable working mechanism on how it all happened. Then of course, myself, 1943 AD.

After believing in myself for 35 years, evolution being part of those years (even though I didn’t know I was believing in evolution), I suddenly found myself a believer in Jesus Christ. It happened one morning as I was getting into my car to leave for work. It started the day before while I was at work. A co-worker had come into the office where I worked. He started talking about Jesus Christ, causing me some pain, in having to be polite. However, he asked me a question that I had never thought of before. He asked me if I knew where I would go after I was dead. He told me that one outcome could be heaven, another could be hell. He then went on to ask if I thought I might go to heaven. After some thought, I told him that I had been pretty good, most of my life, with a few not so nice moments, so I figured if there was a heaven, the I had a 50/50 chance of going there. He then said something that to this day, I will not forget, “Don’t you think your eternal soul is worth more than just a 50/50 chance?” I told him that no one could know for sure if they would go to heaven. He then said, “You can know for certain, 100%, that you are going to heaven, when you die. I was then interested enough to continue on with the conversation. After telling me about Jesus, and what he had done, he asked me if I wanted to believe in him. I quickly said no, and with that the conversation ended, with him telling me that it was great talking with me.

I went home that day, and did not say anything to my wife or children, what this man had said to me; I even put it out of my mind. That night I went to bed, and after laying my head on my pillow, I found myself thinking about what was said to me at work. I was not able to sleep that night, oh I probably dosed off and on during the night, but everytime I found myself awake, I was fighting with, “I have done a lot of good things”, and then I would remember hurting someone, lying, even stealing, and much more. When morning arrived, I dressed, ate breakfast, not saying anything to my wife about the night I had, and went out the door to my car. As I sat there, I thought to myself, I am not in all honesty, the best person I could be, and in light of what I was told the day before, I was not perfect, like Jesus Christ, and that is what God expected me to be, to get to heaven. Right there and then, my mind told me that if I start this car, and leave for work without asking Jesus Christ to save me, I would die and go to hell.

I asked Jesus that morning to forgive me for all the sins I had done, those I could remember and those I couldn’t, and I asked him to save me. Nothing happened after I had finished asking for forgiveness, but I do have to say, that what I thought next was quite amazing to me. It seemed to me that what I had been looking for all my life, was now found. I was not anxious, I was just calm, relaxed, and ready to go to work. I arrived to work that morning, and went straight to that fellow that told me about Jesus, and said, I have asked Jesus Christ to save me, and He did.

Of course I had no facts that He did, it just seemed to me to be true, and that was that. Now after many years of ups and downs, sometimes trying to get away from Jesus, I have found that I cannot not. It is true what He says, “I will never leave, nor forsake you (Heb 13). After more than 35 years of looking into the Bible, evolution, creation, Islam, the environment, and myself, I with all honesty, tell you that the Bible is the only reliable source of truth out there. I am now 68 years old, and have CLL (Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia), I have again realized the truth of His words. “Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light” (Matt 11).

It is my hope that all who read this blog, will look inside themselves. Asking who am I really, what really do I know, and how much is really out there that I may not know. Jesus said “I am the resurrection and the life, anyone who believed in me, though they were dead, yet shall they live.” “I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes unto the Father, but by me.”

My last though for this day is what the Apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 2. For by grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is a gift of God: Not of works that anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Jesus Christ, unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.