Tag Archive: leukemia


Be therefore imitators of God, as beloved children.

Walk in love, even as Christ also loved you, and gave himself up for us………..

Ephesians 5:1-2a

In Genesis, we read that the Lord God told Adam, “because you have listened to your wife’s voice and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, Do not eat from it: the ground is cursed because of you. You will eat from it by means of painful labor all the days of your life. It will produce thorns for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. You will eat bread by the sweat of your brow until you return to the ground, since you were taken from it. For you are dust, and you will return to dust.”

Now many will say, after reading this passage, God is mean, unjust, and just cruel. If He is so nice, you would think He would have told Adam, this is only your first mistake, I will give you another chance.

But God is just, and if you are just, you have to do the right and just thing, the law demands it. If you did not, then you are not just.

The Lord God, who created Adam told Adam up front, before hand, “You are free to eat from any tree of the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. For on the day you eat from it, you shall certainly die.” What did the Lord God actually say to Adam, “All these trees, here in the garden, you can freely eat from; all of them. But there is one that will cause you to die, don’t eat from that tree. I have given you life, but this fruit, that offers the knowledge of good and evil (Law), causes death.”

Before Adam gained the knowledge of the law. In God’s holiness, God only had to share His grace with Adam, not His justice. Paul clearly gives us the reason the Lord God told Adam not to eat from that tree. The law produces wrath. And where there is no law, there is no transgression. Romans 4:15

What we also neglect to read, and understand, is the Lord God firstly told the serpent (Satan), “Because you have done this, you are cursed more than any livestock and more than any wild animal. You will move on your belly and eat dust all the days of your life. I will put hostility(enmity) between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed. (just a note: the woman does not have seed, the man does. The Lord God was letting us know right from the beginning that a miraculous (virgin) birth would occur). He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel. ”God was telling Satan that a man, born of a woman, will someday deliver a mortal blow to Satan. In this same verse, the Lord God is telling everyone, that Yeshua the Messiah (the Christ), Jesus Christ, will someday come and defeat Satan, along with the sin that Adam just committed, and death because of the knowledge of good and evil. In Christ, the Lord God would once again, in grace, meet, walk, and talk with His creation

I have been a Christian now for 38 years. I put my faith in Jesus Christ when I was 34 years old. Over these last 38 years, I have heard a certain theme about God. He is mean, demanding, unjust, angry, kills people, often good people, and even lets children starve. Many who think this, who believe this, I have found never studied, much less read, the only Book that actually reveals who God is.

There are some who claim they have read the Bible, but also say it was for the purpose of finding errors in it. And there are others who have started out with that same purpose, and have come to believe the Bible is the perfect, inerrant Word of God. There are others who believe, but do not read the Bible. Often I have found that it is because they are just not readers. However they believe and are often eager to hear and know more about the Bible. Then there are others who were told about the wonderful love that God has for them. And because of His love, He sent his Son, to pay for the sin Adam did, and all the sins they have done. They believed what they heard, and then began reading about it, in the Bible.

Of course there our also those that I have met, that do not believe there is such a thing as sin, or say they have never sinned. To these people I only remind them of what the Apostle John wrote. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 1John 1:8. With that said, I cannot stop there, but must tell you the next thing John said. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1John 1:9

One does not have to read the Bible to be saved, it is Jesus Christ who saves. Yet by reading about this love that God shows to His creation, in Christ; gives the believing reader the opportunity, and ability to grow in that faith.

If one reads the Bible, one would find out that it is the devil that had the power of death. Since then the children have shared in flesh and blood, he also himself (Christ) in like manner partook of the same, that through death he might bring to nothing him who had the power of death, that is the devil. And might deliver all of them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage. Hebrews 2:14-15.

It is Satan that hates what the Lord God created and has always wanted the human race dead. It is Adams original sin that caused a curse on the earth. It is because of that sin, we see disease, sickness, hate, and everything that lends itself to the destruction of human life. The good news is, Christ took the power of death from the devil, and offers life, health, and His love to all.

Now as for God being mean, demanding, unjust, angry, kills people, often good people, and even lets children starve. To those accusations, I say the law is demanding, we are unjust, and usually angry. People kill people, and it is people who cause children to starve.

God causes the crops to grow every year in most places around the world. The world grows more food for every man, woman, and child than we can eat. The world produces enough food to feed everyone. (www.worldhunger.org) The principle problem is that many people in the world still do not have sufficient income to purchase (or land to grow) enough food.(www.worldhunger.org)

Yet, the United States alone sends thousands and thousands of tons of free food to starving nations every year, yet the children continue starve. Those who receive and hand out that food though, seem never to starve. The leaders of those poor starving countries, never look like they are starving. Why is that? Have you ever asked yourself that question.

Let me finish with this; why do so many hate God and will not read the Bible? Well the Bible gives us the answer. For when they knew God, they neither glorified Him as God, nor were thankful, but became vain in there imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man, and to birds and four footed beasts and creeping things. Romans 1

This same Bible tells us also how much God loves us, and His whole creation. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

 

 

 

My Journey

Good morning all, I have not written on this blog now for over a year. So I thought I would bring all of you up to date on my walk with SLL/CLL. And for those who were wondering; yes I am still alive, and doing very well.

I have included an updated chart along with a short version of my last five years. You will see that my 100 Leukocytes has fallen below normal now for three blood tests. What does that mean? It means that it may take longer to beat a cold or infection, if one should occur. Hoping to see them rise when I have blood tests again in March 2016.

As I look back on that day, December 25, 2010, when I was first told I had cancer, I was certainly caught off guard. then just a couple of months later I came to realize that it is not just cancer, but a terminal disease. It  was march 2011 when the doctor finally told me I had Small Lymphocytic Lymphoma/Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia, (SLL/CLL) stage 4, and there was no cure.

Soon after, I found out that I had the dreaded chromoseome 17p deletion and it was 92% deleted.

Life expectancy, at that time, for those with the17p deletion was that 50% of patients died by nine months after diagnosis, and the rest of them usually died within thirty months. Now in 2015, several new therapies have been approved for SLL/CLL and even 17p patients have much more hope now, to live well past previous life expectancy estimates, of previous years.

I found out, and was later told that chemotherapy was not viable for 17p deletion patients.

In June of 2012, my nose was bleeding, often for more than an hour at a time. My spleen was twice the size it should be. Lymphnodes in my neck and jaw were the size of large marbles and I was short of breath. At my June 2012 appointment, my doctor finally said, “nothing could be done”, that mabybe I should try to get into a clinical trail. On our way back home from the VA in St. Petersburg, my wife and I stopped at the VA cemetery in Sarasota, and got all the information needed for my wife to have me buried there.

The next day I called NIH in Maryland, and after talking to someone, the head doctor called me and said I would be perfect for the trial he was conducting. It took about a month to get all my tests prepared to be sent. However a few days before I received the papers, I was called by the head doctor up there, telling me the trial had been filled. It was now near the end of July 2012.

Feeling sick right at that moment, about one minute later, a verse came to my mind….” And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28. Honestly, all fear left me at that moment. Also one of my favorite verses in the Bible is Isaiah 26:3 Thou will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. The word peace here in Hebrew is Shalom which means, everything is well.

About one week later, I was watching, on television, a Christian Creationist preacher mention Genesis 1:29. God also said, Look, I have given you every seed-bearing plant on the surface of the entire earth and every tree whose fruit contains seed. This food will be for you. After reading the verse, he said that bitter apricot seeds kills cancer cells.

Believing God, that every seed bearing plant whose fruit contains seed is for eating, I started eating bitter apricot seeds. I was given this verse when my blood counts were near their worse. Cancer count in my blood was at 70%. WBC 12.4, (high 18.5) HGB 11.4,(low 10.3) PLT 59,(low 53) ALC 8.7,(high 13.5)

It is now Sept 2013 and my blood counts had become close to normal again.So my doctor looked at the lymph node biopsy, that was done in March 2011 and yes, the lymph node was positive for SLL/CLL. Okay we concluded, I did and still do have SLL/CLL, but why the consistently improving blood counts. It was then that I told her what I had been eating.

Since that time, my doctor has told me I am at stage 0, which was stage 4 when first diagnosed. My blood counts are now normal or near normal.

Has this been a miracle in my life, who knows, but for me, it certainly is. When I think of what has happened over the last five years, I thank my Father, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, for calling me, to believe Him.

The night I was told I have cancer, my wife unknown to me, sat in the hall of that hospital, next to my room and prayed that our Father in heaven would do for me what he had done for King Hezekiah in 2nd Kings 20. Give him fifteen more years. And as King Hezekiah left his sick bed in three days, so it was with me. There is so much more I could tell you, but it would take far to long. There is much more detail in my previous blogs, for those who may be interested.

I do want to finish with this, I do not have faith in bitter apricot seeds, but I do in the One who healed all who were sick, the one who cleansed the leper, and made the blind to see. You see the grace of God is not a subject, just to discuss, the grace of God, unmerited favor, is a person, and that person is Jesus Christ. The Law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ. It is one thing to give, you can give at a distance, its another thing to come, personally.

For if by one man’s offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ. When I put my faith, when you put your faith in Jesus Christ, our position, moves from being condemned by our sin, to a place of righteousness, and no condemnation. That is, not my righteousness, for I have none in myself, but Christ’s righteousness.

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21.

He Himself bore our sins in his own body on the tree, so that having died to sins, we should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes I am healed. I Peter 2:24.

DATE WBC HGB PLT ALC Lymphocytes/
12/26/10 15.6 12.8 87 4.3 100 Leukocytes
01/10/11 15.8 13.3 112 4.3 27.00%
01/19/11 11.7 13.1 78 4.2 36.00%
02/17/11 12.5 13.7 87 4.5 36.00%
05/12/11 11.6 11.9 77 5.5 47.00%
08/08/11 13.3 12.4 85 7.63
09/08/11 18.5 12.9 63 13.5
10/20/11 15.7 12.1 60 8.6 55.00%
12/21/11 13.4 11.9 64 7.85 58.00%
01/06/12 12.5 11.7 63 62.00%
01/26/12 11.1 11.1 62 8.4
04/26/12 11 11.4 54 7.4 67.00%
05/25/12 11.7 11.1 53 8.1 69.00%
06/22/12 12.4 11.4 59 8.7 70.00% Started eating
08/19/12 9.7 10.7 63 5.9 Bitter
12/03/12 9.1 11.1 73 5.1 55.00% Apricot Seeds
03/04/13 6.1 10.3 63 2.94 48.10% 06/02/12
06/03/13 6.6 11 72 2.6 44.20%
08/08/13 6.4 11.1 101 1.89 29.70%
09/05/13 5.8 11.9 88 1.59 27.40%
12/05/13 5.5 12.7 88 1.29 23.70%
03/05/14 5.8 12.8 80 1.21 20.70%
08/14/14 3.9 12.8 85 0.89 22.60%
09/05/14 6.8 12.7 80 0.92 14.50%
03/05/15 5.9 13.2 90 0.67 13.40%
09/05/15 5.2 12.8 85 0.64 12.20%
Normal WBC Normal HGB Normal PLT Normal ALC Normal Ly
4.0-10.6 12.8-17.0 150 1.0-3.7 16.2% to 48.2%

I hope all of you SLL/CLL and CLL patients are doing well. Lot of great news in the advancements of new medicines. Iburtnib has been giving good results, and has been approved for sale in the USA. It had been approved originally, for only chromosome 17p patients, but I believe it now approved for all chromosome deletions. Please correct if I am wrong on the approval for all patients. Also I have been reading that a Phase 1 trial of second generation BTL inhibitor, ACP-196, and has been demonstrating some very good results.

DATE WBC HGB PLT ALC Lymphocytes/
12/26/10 15.6 12.8 87 4.3 100 Leukocytes
01/10/11 15.8 13.3 112 4.3 27.00%
01/19/11 11.7 13.1 78 4.2 36.00%
02/17/11 12.5 13.7 87 4.5 36.00%
05/12/11 11.6 11.9 77 5.5 47.00%
08/08/11 13.3 12.4 85 7.63
09/08/11 18.5 12.9 63 13.5
10/20/11 15.7 12.1 60 8.6 55.00%
12/21/11 13.4 11.9 64 7.85 58.00%
01/06/12 12.5 11.7 63 62.00%
01/26/12 11.1 11.1 62 8.4
04/26/12 11 11.4 54 7.4 67.00%
05/25/12 11.7 11.1 53 8.1 69.00%
06/22/12 12.4 11.4 59 8.7 70.00% Started eating
08/19/12 9.7 10.7 63 5.9 Bitter
12/03/12 9.1 11.1 73 5.1 55.00% Apricot Seeds
03/04/13 6.1 10.3 63 2.94 48.10% 06/02/12
06/03/13 6.6 11 72 2.6 44.20%
08/08/13 6.4 11.1 101 1.89 29.70%
09/05/13 5.8 11.9 88 1.59 27.40%
12/05/13 5.5 12.7 88 1.29 23.70%
03/05/14 5.8 12.8 80 1.21 20.70%
08/14/14 3.9 12.8 85 0.89 22.60%
09/05/14 6.8 12.7 80 0.92 14.50%
Normal WBC Normal HGB Normal PLT Normal ALC Normal Ly
4.0-10.6 12.8-17.0 150 1.0-3.7 16.2% to 48.2%

As you can see from my last results, my blood readings are staying fairly close to normal, with the exception of course, my platelets. My lymph-nodes went back to normal well over a year ago, and are still that way. My spleen is just a bit enlarged over normal, but undetected to the touch.

I have cut back from eating 18 bitter apricot seeds, to 15 a day. I would like to see my ALC numbers get back into the normal range. Even though they are low, I see that my white blood cell count is in the normal range, and I am thankful that I have no infections, nor illnesses, like any of the current bugs, that are going around. With all of the illnesses around me, I think of Psalms 91:1-4 (AMP). He who dwells in the secret place of the most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty (Whose power no foe can withstand). I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him I lean and rely, and in Him I (confidently) trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the deadly pestilence.

All in all, I am feeling fantastic. I will be seeing my Oncologist in March, I am looking forward to seeing what my blood counts will be.

Peter said, “Repent and be baptized …………” If you were like me, you were told that this meant that you first change the way you do things, then you get baptised for the remission of sins. However the Greek word used for repent is matanoeo, which means to change one’s mind, or to think differently. It has nothing to do with changing things, but thinking differently (or changing your way of thinking.)

What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave He ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost. Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons wh need no repentance. Luke 15

Wait one minute, where and when did this lost sheep repent? In this whole story, I read no where that this lost sheep repented. This lost sheep did not change direction and try to come home. This lost sheep did not say it was sorry for going astray. This lost sheep did nothing but let his Shepard put him on his shoulders. It was the Shepard who rejoiced. It was the Shepard who carried the lost sheep home. It was the Shepard who calls all his friends and neighbors together asking them to rejoice with him, because he had found his lost sheep.

All this lost sheep did, was to rely on his Shepard to do everything.

So what is repentance? Relying on the Good Shepard, Jesus Christ to do everything. It is changing our minds from what we must do to be saved, to what Christ has done to save us.

I just received my blood results, from December 05, 2013, and wanted to share them with those, of you, who have been following my blog.

Again I am thankful for the great results I am having. I tell as many who will listen, what I have been doing. I have had some ask me, “are there anymore people that this has happened too?” I really do not know, but one thing I do know, is that it has happened to me. For some of my closes friends, and acquaintances, they know how I was doing before June 2012, and see how I am doing now. Of course it is easy to believe it, when you actually see it happening in front of your own eyes.

I know for most, skepticism is the rule of the day, and that is not a bad thing. I am skeptical concerning most things, but knowing that, I am still amazed at what is happening to me, and want people, especially those with SLL/CLL to know my story.  I will tell it until I am called home.

Here is my up dated chart.

DATE WBC HGB PLT ALC Lymphocytes/
12/26/10 15.6 12.8 87 4.3 100 Leukocytes
01/10/11 15.8 13.3 112 4.3 27.00%
01/19/11 11.7 13.1 78 4.2 36.00%
02/17/11 12.5 13.7 87 4.5 36.00%
05/12/11 11.6 11.9 77 5.5 47.00%
08/08/11 13.3 12.4 85 7.63
09/08/11 18.5 12.9 63 13.5
10/20/11 15.7 12.1 60 8.6 55.00%
12/21/11 13.4 11.9 64 7.85 58.00%
01/06/12 12.5 11.7 63 62.00%
01/26/12 11.1 11.1 62 8.4
04/26/12 11 11.4 54 7.4 67.00%
05/25/12 11.7 11.1 53 8.1 69.00%
06/22/12 12.4 11.4 59 8.7 70.00% Started eating
08/19/12 9.7 10.7 63 5.9       Bitter
12/03/12 9.1 11.1 73 5.1 55.00% Apricot Seeds
03/04/13 6.1 10.3 63 2.94 48.10% 06/02/12
06/03/13 6.6 11 72 2.6 44.20%
08/08/13 6.4 11.1 101 1.89 29.70%
09/05/13 5.8 11.9 88 1.59 27.40%
12/05/13 5.5 12.7 88 1.29 23.70%
Normal WBC Normal HGB Normal PLT Normal ALC Normal Ly
4.0-10.6 12.8-17.0 150 1.0-3.7 16.2% to 48.2%

As most of you know by now,  I have CLL (Chronic Lympocytic Leukemia) and finally found out what the percentage of my 17p deletion was, I calmly accepted it, realizing once again that God has known from the beginning what it was. I know it did not come as a suprise to Him.

With that in mind I was reading a article from my favorite pastor, Pastor John Glenn.  I saw myself in this article, so I would like to share a few of these thoughts as well as some of mine own.

Hebrews 12: 1,2, “Wherefore, seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doeth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

These words were given to all believers to help them realize the significance of their lives here on this earth. They were written to encourage everyone, but as I read them, I saw them as being written clearly for my encouragement.  I, as well as every believer in Jesus Christ is viewed by the writer as Olympic athletes running a race in front of a heavenly crowd of those who have gone on before us. So I am told to “lay aside every weight” or the bondage of the law, and the “besetting sin” of my natural unbelief so I may run with endurance the race that I am in. In short, I am to run my race in the grace of God rather than the energy of my own religious flesh.

The key to my victory in this race is looking unto “Jesus the author and finisher of our faith“. He is the author and originator of my faith, and he is the finisher, the one who will complete it in me. It is in his strength that I can run the race and his joy that gives me the endurance I need to finish my course.

Even though it appeared to all that Jesus was losing, especially as he hung on the cross; his resurrection from the dead and ascension to the throne of God proves that he was victorious. The writer of Hebrews tells me that what motivated Jesus through the difficult times was the joy he experienced in submitting to the will of the Father. Because of that joyful and confident expectation of his ultimate victory, Jesus was able to “despise the shame” by enduring all that was involved in his sacrifice on the cross and completing his work of saving humanity.

 As I run the race that is set before me, I too may experience some difficult times in which it looks like I am going to lose somehow. I should not expect to avoid the hard times, but seek to endure them in the same joy that motivated Jesus.

When I finish my race, it is my hope and my prayer, that my grandchildren know that I have fought a good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith.

Each of us has our own unique race to run in the grace of God. All who believe on Jesus are called to do his works and greater because he has gone back to the Father and left us here to love one another.

Thanks be to God who has made all who believe in Jesus Christ, more than conquerors.

It has been awhile since my last blog, but honestly, I was just not in the proper frame of mind to write anything.

Let me begin by telling you that I had very high hopes of getting into a clinical trial that looked to be the answer to my SLL/CLL 17p deletion problem. My doctor ordered all the tests I needed to send for my approval of entering the trial. I was told that I was perfect for this trial, especially as no other therapies offered good results for me. The day I received my results, and was getting them ready to mail, I received a call from the Chief doctor of the clinical trial, informing me that the trail had been filled, and there were no more spaces for me.

After several hours of concern, doubt, and worry, these words entered my mind. We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.

I say this with humility, but never less it is true. I slept very good that night, and so far every night since then.

I was reminded this morning, of that day, and wanted to share this.

One main problem with walking by faith is it often causes us to worry. Why is that? Well “faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” It is impossible to walk by faith and see or know how something, or for that matter anything, is going to work out. In fact, the more we want to walk by faith the more evidence we see that things are not working out so well. We continually imagine how they could work out, or how they should work out, but usually end up disappointed as one scheme after another seems to fall apart.

I believe this is why Jesus broke this faith business down for us in the Sermon on the Mount. When Jesus calls on us to quit worrying about our lives so much, He uses the analogy of the birds and wildflowers in nature. In this sermon, He illustrates the faithfulness of God to meet our needs continuously. Jesus says, “take no thought of your life, or what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor for your body to what you should wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing.” In other words, stop worrying and scheming to make things happen. Then He talks about God taking care of the birds, and how the flowers grow without having to do anything. Then Jesus concludes with, “if God does this for the birds and flowers, don’t you realize that He will do even more for you, ye of little faith.” He then reminds us that no amount of worry can change us in any way, and calls on us to focus our attention on God’s kingdom and His righteousness instead.                                                                                                              

I know this will sound contrary to most; Christians as well as non-christians. For most of us plan daily to do what is needed to succeed.  But I say that living in these times, being that most are living on the edge, this admonition to stop worrying is just as relevant today as it was when Jesus gave this sermon 2000 years ago.              

Jesus hits the nail on the head when he refers to us as, “ye of little faith”.  Please realize that this statement from Jesus is not so much a rebuke as it is an explanation of our problem. It’s not that we don’t have enough faith (the faith as small as a mustard seed is enough to move mountains), but that we seldom use the faith we have been given. Rather than trust God to do what He says He will do, we prefer to worry, complain, and then attempt to fix the problem as quick as possible. Have you noticed how quickly we forget about things God has miraculously provided for us in the past? That’s because faith must be exercised daily rather than just once in a while.

Jesus knows we are going to worry about our lives each day, so He directs us to “seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness”. Instead of thinking about our own needs and planning how we are going to get them met, we are told to seek the kingdom of God. This is the place where God is in charge and makes all the decisions. Seeking this kingdom means that we actually want and trust Him to decide what needs to be done regardless of what it may mean to us personally. Plus we are to seek His righteousness, meaning that we are to concern ourselves with living out the life of Christ in the midst of our circumstances. Our lives are much more than what we have and experience in this physical world, we who believe in Christ Jesus, are really awesome spirit beings who are inseparably joined to Christ. He may make our life comfortable in this country, by His mercy, but we are not here just to be comfortable and have a good time. We are here to be Christ to others! We are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus unto good works which He before ordained that we should walk in them.

Instead of worrying about what is going to happen to me tomorrow, I am called to deal with who I am, and what my purpose is today. Do I have what I need to love others like Christ right now? Can I actually care about others around me today? I have enough problems to deal with today; so I need not worry, nor scheme about those that are coming tomorrow.

Our calling of God in Christ Jesus is summarized by the new command to love others like Christ. That we can do no matter what circumstances we face each day. By exercising that tiny faith I have been given, I attempt to love others believing the promise of God. I’ll attempt to face tomorrow the same way.

Good morning to all, on this beautiful sunny, warm day in the south.

I thought I would again post my paper on “Why Disease, Hatred, Sickness and Death.” For many who have read it before, know it is my testimony of why I believe I have SLL/CLL, and what really happened. I last posted this paper Sept. 2011, and since then made some revisions. For those of you who have already read it, you will find additions, and hopefully I have made it a little easier to understand my thoughts.

Around the country, we continue to hear about the economic recession, and job loss. Around the world we hear about the latest terrorist attacks. Innocent children are dying of starvation, people are dying of cancer, heart disease, and so on. What in the world has gone wrong? How could a good God create a world so full of disease, pain and death? Pain and suffering afflict even the most seemingly innocent people. Animals rip other animals apart in a desperate attempt to survive. How could any rational person think a benevolent being was behind so much death and suffering?

I have SLL/CLL, that is small lymphocyte lymphoma/chronic lymphocyte leukemia. A cancer in the lymphodes and blood. There is no current cure for these cancers. So why did I get cancer? Some have asked, “Why do you have cancer?” You have been a Christian for 33 years, you have told other about Christ, taught Sunday school, even preached in some churches. I thought God loved you, you are part of His family, why would He do this thing to you?

Well is it God who did this to me, or is it something else that did? The following is what really happened!

Lets take a look at what God did do. Day 1&2 – God created the heavens and the earth and separated the waters from the waters, and He saw that it was good. Day 3 – He made dry land, and saw that it was good, then grass, trees, seed, and saw that it was good. Day 4 – He made the sun, moon, stars, and saw that it was good. Day 5 – God created birds and fish, and saw that it was good. Day 6 – Animals, man and woman were made by Him, and He saw everything He had made, and behold, it was very good.

So what happened? When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. When Adam ate of the fruit, the human race had the death penalty placed on it. God told Adam, to eat of every tree in the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin, so death passed upon all men, for all have sinned. We all have Adams DNA, and we all choose to sin.

The tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil – How do we know what is good and what is evil? Where does this knowledge come from? The law, commandments, came by Moses. We also learn the law and laws, from out parents, then school, then peers, then work, society, and church. All religions have some sort of laws, or rules. Governments have rules and laws, Christians, Athiest, Evolutionist, all have rules and laws. We even know it by nature, it is written on our hearts. For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; because that which may be known of God is manifest in them, for God hath shewed it unto them. For the invisible things of Him from creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead; so that they (we) are without excuse.

But the Law is Good – Is the law of God evil? Of course not! It showed me my sin. When I learned the law, I realized I had broke it. So the law that was to show me life, gave me the death penalty instead. Sin took a good law and used it to make me guilty, so death pursued. But the law didn’t change, it is still holy, right, and good. How can that be, the law that is good, brought my condemnation. It didn’t, sin used what was good to bring condemnation. That’s how terrible sin really is. The law is good then, the trouble is with me, because I have sin as my master. So by the deeds of the law, there shall no flesh be justified in His sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin. So what is the conclusion for sin?

THE WAGES OF SIN, OR OUR PAYMENT FOR SIN IS DEATH. 

So why do I, and others get cancer that has no cure, and can and does cause death? Why are you going to die? Whether from old age, accidents, diseases, war, you name it, all of us, and those who are considered the very best of us will die. Why? Because of the law, which gave us the knowledge of sin, which Adam and all of us chose by disobeying God. So I must conclude that God didn’t cause me to have cancer, my race and I chose it.

These are the facts as I see and read them. No scare tactics, not trying to get you to live a better life. Why, even when we try, we fail daily and completely more often than not. For the good that I would, I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. So we can all conclude that no one does good, we try, but we fail, why, because we are born in sin, born self centered, self important, wanting, etc.

There’s got to be a better way? Yes, there is, Jesus said – “I am the resurrection and the life, anyone that believes in me, though you were dead, yet shall you live.” This is good news, true news, needed news, and eternal life giving news. Do you realize that the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death, and knowing that Christ being raised from the dead, dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him.

Question: so what happens when some one asks Christ to save them? We are buried with Jesus by baptism into death, and as Christ was raised up from the dead, we are raised with Him. (This is not the physical water baptism we see in churches.)  So if we are with Him in death, we will be with Him in His resurrection. Knowing this, our old man is crucifed with Him, we should not serve sin. For he that is dead is freed from sin. Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that Christ being raised from the dead, dieth no more; death has no more dominion over Him. Christ died unto sin once, and now lives unto God. So realize that your are dead indeed to sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Yes, but I still sin. Sin still persists, because you and I still have these physical bodies. Our cursed physical bodies have not died yet. (We still have physical death, sickness, disease, and so on.) It is our cursed and eternal sinful spirit that I am talking about.

God said that He formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living soul.

We are a new creation in Christ, born again with a new nature, God now sees our new nature, even though we are still stuck in our physical bodies. Notice that I said “God now see our new nature. He only sees Christ in us, His Spirit in us, and our born again spirit in Him, perfect, loved, loving, sinless, that will live forever. So then, it is my old body, my physical body (sins of the flesh) that is going to die. It is the sins of the flesh which is still under the law, and is emnity with God, that will die. In Christ, God only sees you and me as righteous, as Christ is righteous. My new man, my new nature, my spirit, in my new body, is what is living forever, and not just forever, but forever with Christ.

So how do I ask Christ to save me? Repent and believe. What does it mean to repent? To change direction 180 degrees. In other words, change what you believe, and believe the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Some become Christians, and to change (repent), start going to church, try feeding the poor, give to charity, and on and on (by the way, these are good things, and Christians are called to love and help others).  But after awhile, we tire of doing these things. our feelings may have been hurt by another Christian, we are young in our Christian walk, and believe things that others tell us, things that God does not say in His word. Things become more important, and doing good, becomes less and less a part of our lives. Not only that, but we find sin has reared up its ugly face again, and even worst, we are not only sinning, but we are living with a spirit of self-righteousness, judging others, their life styles, their dress, and even their words. Look, speak out for your values, for your beliefs, share the Gospel of Jesus Christ, but only because you love others, not because you condemn them. If your repentence is condemning, you have gone back to that which you have been freed from, the law of the knowledge of good and evil. So be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God.

To repent, is to stop believing that as a believer, you are under the law of Moses, instead believe now that you are under Gods grace. Christ fulfilled that law, and paid the penalty of death for it, so you are no longer condemned by it. Change what you think, not what you do. God will take care of the doing.

But what if I seek to be made right with God through faith in Jesus Christ, and find out that I am still a sinner? Has Christ led me into sin? Of course not! Rather I make myself guilty if I rebuild the old system I already tore down. For when I tried to keep the law, I realized I could never earn God’s approval. So I died to the law, so that I may live for God. I have been crucified with Christ. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God. I am not one of those that treats the grace of God as meaningless. For if I could be saved by keeping the law, then there was no need for Christ to die. So if you chose to put your faith in Christ, do not at a later time try to become perfect by your own human effort.

What is the Gospel? The good news about Jesus Christ. That Christ came, died, rose again, and anyone who believes in Him, will have eternal life, with Him. It is not more, nor is it nothing less than that. No human religion, no religious acts, no good deeds, nothing but Christ. The Bible declares that the gospel which was preached, is for you to receive, and has been received by many, wherein you may stand. It also states that by this gospel, you also are saved. Just remember what it says, otherwise your belief is in vain. For what was told and then written, and now delivered unto you, and that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; and that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures. This is the Gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ.

So I can’t sin anymore. Wow, so I can do anything and it will be okay, right! Many believe that they can sin, because we are not under the law anymore, but under grace. God forbid, know ye not that to whom you yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness. But God be thanked, that you were servants of sin, but you have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being made free from sin, you became servants of righteousness. Once you belong to Christ, and find yourself fighting not to sin, know it is your old nature (fIesh), that wants to sin. Remember you are a new creation in Christ, never having sinned, not sinning now, and will not sin in the future.

I live in this physical body, trying daily to obey the law (commandments), even though I know that my eternal spirit, is no longer judged, nor accused by those laws. I thank God, through Jesus Christ my Lord for that. So then with my spirit, I serve the law of God, but with the flesh, the law of sin. There is therefore no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

I must point out here that walking, in the Spirit is characterized by the thoughts, beliefs and attitudes held by each of us, and serving the law of God, only happens by a continual reliance upon the power of the Holy Spirit, not on our ability, to overcome the power of sin in the flesh.

So how does Gods law tell us to live in the Spirit? Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Please note that not everyone who calls themselves Christian, are believers in Christ. Christ said, “many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in your name? And in your name have cast out devils? And in your name done many wonderful things. And then Christ will profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, you that work iniquity.” Christ does not say, look I knew you, but you screwed up, so you are not saved anymore, no He does not say that. He says I never knew you.

The time is fulfilled and the Kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe the gospel, these are Christ words. For by grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works which God has before ordained that we should walk in them. So please remember, the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.

What does that mean? Grace and truth came by Jesus Christ. We live our lives under the law, we then ask Jesus to save us, He does, then we try to do good things, we work to keep our salvation. We usually fail, give up, and worry that we might not be saved. Yes as I said earlier, do good works, but don’t count it for righteousness. Work out your own salvation, with fear and trembling, for it is God that works in you, both to will and to do His good pleasure. Notice we are not told here to work for our salvation, but to work it out, or demonstrate its reality in our daily lives. Our salvation must be entirely received by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, or else it is not true salvation. Inclusive yes, but it is not me that said that, it is Jesus Christ himself that did. “I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father, but by me.” Again Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life, anyone that believe in me, though they were dead, yet shall they live.” Yes it is inclusive, but free for all to join, so tell others about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If you join me in this story, don’t try to make anyone believe it, nor condemn them if they don’t, just tell them.

Sanctify the Lord in your hearts; and be ready always to give an answer to anyone who asks you a reason of your hope that is in you, with meekness and fear.

Christ and only Christ saves, nothing else. My eternal spirit will live forever, in my new resurrected body (I trust Christ only). How about you? Some will live forever with Christ, and some will live with the spirit of the old man, old sinful nature, paying the wages of sin by living an eternal spiritual death, separated  from Christ, cursing the fact that they are eternal beings, in a bottomless pit, with no way out. The bottomless pit that was made for fallen angels, but many of us chose to go there also.

The Bible has something to say about this choice. And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of the things that were written in the books, according to their works, and the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them, and they were judged, everyone according to their works. And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And whosever was not found written in the book of life, was cast into the lake of fire.

Those who are in prisons, that is behind bars, or those who are behind bars in their own mind, fears, emotions, and diseases, know the burden of the law first hand. It takes away many freedoms, dreams, joys, and much more. This life is sometimes hard for us, and for some, very hard, but what’s to come, may be harder, and definitely longer. Who wants this for an eternity!

If the opportunity ever arises, please read Luke 16:19-31 and then answer this question: Will you be the one who will not be persuaded, neither will one raised from the dead, persuade you.

But not as the offense, so also is the free gift; for if by the offense of one, many did die, much more the grace of God, and the free gift in grace of the man Jesus Christ, abound to many.

Speak the truth with humility and love. Walk in the same way Christ did. Christ tells His disciples just before He left, “A new commandment I give unto you, love one another as I have loved you, that you also love one another, and this is my commandment, that you love one another, as I have loved you.

We live in a world of choas, hurricanes, tornado’s, floods, sickness, children starving, wars, people killing each other. Do you now, or can you now see that it is not God who causes or caused these things, but man. When God created everything, on those first six days, He said everything was good, very good.

The judgement on man, which affects the whole universe, came when man freely chose to disobey, and sin and death entered into man, and all creation was cursed. We must conclude with this, disease, pain and death, innocent children dying, people dying of cancer, heart disease, is not because of what God did, but because of what we, as a human race did, and do now to ourselves, and others. It is you and I who are part of that race. But thank God for Jesus Christ, who came, was born a human, died as a human, paying the death penalty for sin, for the human race. Then rose again, bodily, defeating death forever. So I conclude that I have cancer, not because of what God did, but because of what I, as part of the human race did. I thank God for Jesus Christ who came, was born, died, and rose again, all this for you and me.

Finally for my friends who love riding their motorcycles, like I do.

Strong: Physically powerful, great physical power, muscular body, and great strength.

Tough: Able to withstand great strain without tearing or breaking. Resilient, firm in texture, but flexible and not brittle. Able to withstand adverse conditions, or rough or careless handling. Will bend, twist, without tearing or breaking. Does anyone see a difference between the two?

Learn to hang around with the one who is really tough. He left glory, cloaked His glory, became a man, falsely accused, found guilty of breaking the law. Beaten, cut, stabbed, laughed at, mocked, nailed to a cross, only said, forgive them Father, they know not what they do. This same man could have weakened, broke, and destroyed everything and everyone, just with speaking only a word. but chose instead to be tough. Why? because he cared about you and me so much, that He would die, so we may live. But God commendeth His love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

                                                                                                                                                                        Jack Rowe 2011

                                                                                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

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My Journey

February is almost over, time does not stand still for anyone. This month has been a very joyous one for my wife and me. We had visiting with us one of our daughters, her husband and their three children, our grandchildren.

We spend several days at the Magic Kingdom, and had a wonderful time. The weather was perfect, not to hot, with low humidity. We could not have asked for better weather, or better times. We were able to go on all the rides, and see all the other sites we wanted to see. We stayed there until 1:00 am and all of us had a great time. I have been a blessed man.

I have been feeling really good, just like I felt several years ago. I am finding that I do not lose my breath as quickly as before, I have not bruised for quite some time now, and I have no pain at all. My lympnodes have gone down a bit, and I have no pain in my spleen, even though the sonogram showed it was at 20 cm. I have not changed anything I had been doing, but something seems to have changed. My numbers had been falling rapidly for several months, and just when I thought I would have to start chemo, my numbers leveled out. My doctor, who was preparing me for FCR in January 2012, said lets stay on w&w.

I do not like to go to the doctor’s office, and I have not changed on that. However, I am looking forward to seeing my Oncologist in April, really believing that maybe my blood counts may be somewhat better than before. I have no way of telling, but feeling the way I do, I am hoping for the best. I know that with what I have, everything points that this may not be the case, but hope is a wonderful thing. It is  one of those things that God makes available to us.

Romans 5:1-5 – Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that,  but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Again I want to thank all of you who have been praying for me. I am so grateful that many of you think of me often.

Hezekiah’s Life Extended 2 Kings 20:1-6

In those days Hezekiah was sick and near death. And Isaiah the prophet, the son of Amoz, went to him and said to him, “Thus says the Lord: ‘Set your house in order, for you shall die, and not live.’”

Then he turned his face toward the wall, and prayed to the Lord, saying, “Remember now, O Lord, I pray, how I have walked before You in truth and with a loyal heart, and have done what was good in Your sight.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.

And it happened, before Isaiah had gone out into the middle court, that the word of the Lord came to him, saying, “Return and tell Hezekiah the leader of My people, ‘Thus says the Lord, the God of David your father: “I have heard your prayer, I have seen your tears; surely I will heal you. On the third day you shall go up to the house of the Lord. 6 And I will add to your days fifteen years.

In the following verses, Hezekiah asks for a sign, and is granted one. My wife did not ask for a sign, but I did get up and leave the hospital on the third day, after being told I would have to start chemotherapy immediately. It has been over a year now, and I am still on watch and wait, and in my fourth year of having SLL/CLL with a 17p deletion.

My wife found these verses the night I was told I had cancer, late stage cancer, and she has held fast to these verses, living with fear some days, but not doubting that Gods promise to Hezekiah is also a promise to me. She has been an anchor, for me, in a very serious storm.

Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous person avails much.

Here’s to another wonderful day, in this beautiful creation, that God made.

My Journey

It is now February 8th, 2012 and I am finally writing this blog, while sitting on my couch, in the living room. I have hooked up my notebook to my 42″ television, and bought a wireless mouse and keyboard. Now I can view the internet with the click of a button. Not to bad for a 68-year-old with CLL.

When I think of the first phone I ever talked on, a large brown box, where you lifted the phone to your ear, and spoke into the box that was connected to the wall. I remember that we had to listen for the amount of rings. There were so many other people on the same line, you didn’t want to pick up if it was for them.

The first color television, I saw, well I thought it was color, was when I looked into a store window that had color plastic on the window. The television was actually black and white, but looking through the colored plastic, I thought it was color.

But something we had then, that is not around so much today. The big V-8 engine. I had a Mercury Comet 289 V8, and it was fast, with blue racing strips down both sides. We didn’t worry much about gas consumption back then, as gasoline was $.21 a gallon. Later on I bought a Mercury Montego Super Sport, Cleveland 351 V8 engine with two air intakes on the hood. What a car, all leather interior, with power windows, and fast. Sad to say, but now that I am a bit older, I drive a four cylinder, square looking, gray car. But lets not forget, I still have my 1500 cc cruiser motorcycle. Oh well, I certainly enjoyed the times I had, and am very thankful for them.

I am having a Bible study tonight, so I have to do some finishing touches on my Powerpoint presentation. So for now, I will stop rambling on, and get on with things I have to do today.

Galations 3:19a -What purpose then does the law serve? It was added because of transgressions, till the Seed should come to whom the promise was made;

Galations 3:24- 25 – Let me put it another way. The law was our guardian and teacher to lead us until Christ came. So now , through faith in Christ, we are made right with God. But now that faith in Christ has come, we no longer need the law as our guardian.

Hoping that all will have a grand and glorious day.

Good day to all, and may this day be joyful to all you.

I just got my motorcycle back from the shop. Wow, repairs are not cheap, but I have it back and am thankful for that. Just riding from the shop to my place was a pleasure. I really feel good when I am riding, I think it may be good therapy for me.

I read this today at the Lymphoma/Leukemia Society site – White Plains, NY – January 7, 2011 – Georgia Cleland, now 28, is the little girl who helped spawn an entire running for charity movement – the largest of its kind in the world. A leukemia patient at age 2, when the chance of survival was just 55 percent, today she ran her first half-marathon with Team In Training, the organization her father founded in her honor 23 years ago. She ran the Walt Disney World half-marathon. Thanks to her father Bruce Cleland’s imagination, The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Team In Training has had a remarkable influence on the world of marathon running and on blood cancer research.

Twenty-three years ago, Bruce Cleland took the first step as the first marathoner-for-a-cause, as his daughter fought to survive leukemia.  His idea – to support leukemia research by raising money and running his first marathon with a team of friends — inspired a running movement that has touched many, many people. 540,000 runners have now followed in his footsteps and raised $1.2 billion dollars to fund cancer research through The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

To read the complete story – http://www.lls.org/#/aboutlls/news/pressreleases/010712_inspired

Again I must say that I am so thankful to all of those who take time out of their busy lives, to help raise money for people they may not ever know.

To date, science offers no real definition for life, but from our human experience, nothing defines life better than death. Life is always a gift from one being to another, like an eternal flame that is passed along from one generation to the next. The six billion people we see in the world today bear the flame that God first kindled in Adam and Eve some 6,000 years ago.

It all arises from that single cell which involves two gametes (namely sperm and an egg) coming together and forming a single fertilized egg. The wonder of this new life is even more staggering when we perceive that a “Hannah” or a “Bobby,” may be a future singer or plumber or president that arise from that single cell.

In an adult, when any one of these trillions of cells turns rogue, the self-destruct button in that cell is frantically triggered (the programmed cell death response that is present in all cells). When the self-destruct machinery fails, just one rogue cell can—as a spreading cancer—threaten the life of the whole organism.

Just as cell life and cell death are important for maintaining the life of an organism, so the Bible tells us “that all things [yes, trials as well as joys] work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

Just as an organism has life beyond the death of a single cell, so the life of the soul continues beyond bodily death. And just as the decision each cell makes to live or die decides the fate of the organism, the choice that we make in accepting or rejecting Christ determines our eternal life or death.