My Journey

Be therefore imitators of God, as beloved children.

Walk in love, even as Christ also loved you, and gave himself up for us………..

Ephesians 5:1-2a

In Genesis, we read that the Lord God told Adam, “because you have listened to your wife’s voice and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, Do not eat from it: the ground is cursed because of you. You will eat from it by means of painful labor all the days of your life. It will produce thorns for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. You will eat bread by the sweat of your brow until you return to the ground, since you were taken from it. For you are dust, and you will return to dust.”

Now many will say, after reading this passage, God is mean, unjust, and just cruel. If He is so nice, you would think He would have told Adam, this is only your first mistake, I will give you another chance.

But God is just, and if you are just, you have to do the right and just thing, the law demands it. If you did not, then you are not just.

The Lord God, who created Adam told Adam up front, before hand, “You are free to eat from any tree of the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. For on the day you eat from it, you shall certainly die.” What did the Lord God actually say to Adam, “All these trees, here in the garden, you can freely eat from; all of them. But there is one that will cause you to die, don’t eat from that tree. I have given you life, but this fruit, that offers the knowledge of good and evil (Law), causes death.”

Before Adam gained the knowledge of the law. In God’s holiness, God only had to share His grace with Adam, not His justice. Paul clearly gives us the reason the Lord God told Adam not to eat from that tree. The law produces wrath. And where there is no law, there is no transgression. Romans 4:15

What we also neglect to read, and understand, is the Lord God firstly told the serpent (Satan), “Because you have done this, you are cursed more than any livestock and more than any wild animal. You will move on your belly and eat dust all the days of your life. I will put hostility(enmity) between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed. (just a note: the woman does not have seed, the man does. The Lord God was letting us know right from the beginning that a miraculous (virgin) birth would occur). He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel. ”God was telling Satan that a man, born of a woman, will someday deliver a mortal blow to Satan. In this same verse, the Lord God is telling everyone, that Yeshua the Messiah (the Christ), Jesus Christ, will someday come and defeat Satan, along with the sin that Adam just committed, and death because of the knowledge of good and evil. In Christ, the Lord God would once again, in grace, meet, walk, and talk with His creation

I have been a Christian now for 38 years. I put my faith in Jesus Christ when I was 34 years old. Over these last 38 years, I have heard a certain theme about God. He is mean, demanding, unjust, angry, kills people, often good people, and even lets children starve. Many who think this, who believe this, I have found never studied, much less read, the only Book that actually reveals who God is.

There are some who claim they have read the Bible, but also say it was for the purpose of finding errors in it. And there are others who have started out with that same purpose, and have come to believe the Bible is the perfect, inerrant Word of God. There are others who believe, but do not read the Bible. Often I have found that it is because they are just not readers. However they believe and are often eager to hear and know more about the Bible. Then there are others who were told about the wonderful love that God has for them. And because of His love, He sent his Son, to pay for the sin Adam did, and all the sins they have done. They believed what they heard, and then began reading about it, in the Bible.

Of course there our also those that I have met, that do not believe there is such a thing as sin, or say they have never sinned. To these people I only remind them of what the Apostle John wrote. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 1John 1:8. With that said, I cannot stop there, but must tell you the next thing John said. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1John 1:9

One does not have to read the Bible to be saved, it is Jesus Christ who saves. Yet by reading about this love that God shows to His creation, in Christ; gives the believing reader the opportunity, and ability to grow in that faith.

If one reads the Bible, one would find out that it is the devil that had the power of death. Since then the children have shared in flesh and blood, he also himself (Christ) in like manner partook of the same, that through death he might bring to nothing him who had the power of death, that is the devil. And might deliver all of them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage. Hebrews 2:14-15.

It is Satan that hates what the Lord God created and has always wanted the human race dead. It is Adams original sin that caused a curse on the earth. It is because of that sin, we see disease, sickness, hate, and everything that lends itself to the destruction of human life. The good news is, Christ took the power of death from the devil, and offers life, health, and His love to all.

Now as for God being mean, demanding, unjust, angry, kills people, often good people, and even lets children starve. To those accusations, I say the law is demanding, we are unjust, and usually angry. People kill people, and it is people who cause children to starve.

God causes the crops to grow every year in most places around the world. The world grows more food for every man, woman, and child than we can eat. The world produces enough food to feed everyone. (www.worldhunger.org) The principle problem is that many people in the world still do not have sufficient income to purchase (or land to grow) enough food.(www.worldhunger.org)

Yet, the United States alone sends thousands and thousands of tons of free food to starving nations every year, yet the children continue starve. Those who receive and hand out that food though, seem never to starve. The leaders of those poor starving countries, never look like they are starving. Why is that? Have you ever asked yourself that question.

Let me finish with this; why do so many hate God and will not read the Bible? Well the Bible gives us the answer. For when they knew God, they neither glorified Him as God, nor were thankful, but became vain in there imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man, and to birds and four footed beasts and creeping things. Romans 1

This same Bible tells us also how much God loves us, and His whole creation. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

 

 

 

My Journey

Good morning all, I have not written on this blog now for over a year. So I thought I would bring all of you up to date on my walk with SLL/CLL. And for those who were wondering; yes I am still alive, and doing very well.

I have included an updated chart along with a short version of my last five years. You will see that my 100 Leukocytes has fallen below normal now for three blood tests. What does that mean? It means that it may take longer to beat a cold or infection, if one should occur. Hoping to see them rise when I have blood tests again in March 2016.

As I look back on that day, December 25, 2010, when I was first told I had cancer, I was certainly caught off guard. then just a couple of months later I came to realize that it is not just cancer, but a terminal disease. It  was march 2011 when the doctor finally told me I had Small Lymphocytic Lymphoma/Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia, (SLL/CLL) stage 4, and there was no cure.

Soon after, I found out that I had the dreaded chromoseome 17p deletion and it was 92% deleted.

Life expectancy, at that time, for those with the17p deletion was that 50% of patients died by nine months after diagnosis, and the rest of them usually died within thirty months. Now in 2015, several new therapies have been approved for SLL/CLL and even 17p patients have much more hope now, to live well past previous life expectancy estimates, of previous years.

I found out, and was later told that chemotherapy was not viable for 17p deletion patients.

In June of 2012, my nose was bleeding, often for more than an hour at a time. My spleen was twice the size it should be. Lymphnodes in my neck and jaw were the size of large marbles and I was short of breath. At my June 2012 appointment, my doctor finally said, “nothing could be done”, that mabybe I should try to get into a clinical trail. On our way back home from the VA in St. Petersburg, my wife and I stopped at the VA cemetery in Sarasota, and got all the information needed for my wife to have me buried there.

The next day I called NIH in Maryland, and after talking to someone, the head doctor called me and said I would be perfect for the trial he was conducting. It took about a month to get all my tests prepared to be sent. However a few days before I received the papers, I was called by the head doctor up there, telling me the trial had been filled. It was now near the end of July 2012.

Feeling sick right at that moment, about one minute later, a verse came to my mind….” And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28. Honestly, all fear left me at that moment. Also one of my favorite verses in the Bible is Isaiah 26:3 Thou will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. The word peace here in Hebrew is Shalom which means, everything is well.

About one week later, I was watching, on television, a Christian Creationist preacher mention Genesis 1:29. God also said, Look, I have given you every seed-bearing plant on the surface of the entire earth and every tree whose fruit contains seed. This food will be for you. After reading the verse, he said that bitter apricot seeds kills cancer cells.

Believing God, that every seed bearing plant whose fruit contains seed is for eating, I started eating bitter apricot seeds. I was given this verse when my blood counts were near their worse. Cancer count in my blood was at 70%. WBC 12.4, (high 18.5) HGB 11.4,(low 10.3) PLT 59,(low 53) ALC 8.7,(high 13.5)

It is now Sept 2013 and my blood counts had become close to normal again.So my doctor looked at the lymph node biopsy, that was done in March 2011 and yes, the lymph node was positive for SLL/CLL. Okay we concluded, I did and still do have SLL/CLL, but why the consistently improving blood counts. It was then that I told her what I had been eating.

Since that time, my doctor has told me I am at stage 0, which was stage 4 when first diagnosed. My blood counts are now normal or near normal.

Has this been a miracle in my life, who knows, but for me, it certainly is. When I think of what has happened over the last five years, I thank my Father, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, for calling me, to believe Him.

The night I was told I have cancer, my wife unknown to me, sat in the hall of that hospital, next to my room and prayed that our Father in heaven would do for me what he had done for King Hezekiah in 2^nd Kings 20. Give him fifteen more years. And as King Hezekiah left his sick bed in three days, so it was with me. There is so much more I could tell you, but it would take far to long. There is much more detail in my previous blogs, for those who may be interested.

I do want to finish with this, I do not have faith in bitter apricot seeds, but I do in the One who healed all who were sick, the one who cleansed the leper, and made the blind to see. You see the grace of God is not a subject, just to discuss, the grace of God, unmerited favor, is a person, and that person is Jesus Christ. The Law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ. It is one thing to give, you can give at a distance, its another thing to come, personally.

For if by one man’s offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ. When I put my faith, when you put your faith in Jesus Christ, our position, moves from being condemned by our sin, to a place of righteousness, and no condemnation. That is, not my righteousness, for I have none in myself, but Christ’s righteousness.

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21.

He Himself bore our sins in his own body on the tree, so that having died to sins, we should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes I am healed. I Peter 2:24.

DATE	WBC	HGB	PLT	ALC	Lymphocytes/
12/26/10	15.6	12.8	87	4.3	100 Leukocytes
01/10/11	15.8	13.3	112	4.3	27.00%
01/19/11	11.7	13.1	78	4.2	36.00%
02/17/11	12.5	13.7	87	4.5	36.00%
05/12/11	11.6	11.9	77	5.5	47.00%
08/08/11	13.3	12.4	85	7.63
09/08/11	18.5	12.9	63	13.5
10/20/11	15.7	12.1	60	8.6	55.00%
12/21/11	13.4	11.9	64	7.85	58.00%
01/06/12	12.5	11.7	63		62.00%
01/26/12	11.1	11.1	62	8.4
04/26/12	11	11.4	54	7.4	67.00%
05/25/12	11.7	11.1	53	8.1	69.00%
06/22/12	12.4	11.4	59	8.7	70.00%	Started eating
08/19/12	9.7	10.7	63	5.9		Bitter
12/03/12	9.1	11.1	73	5.1	55.00%	Apricot Seeds
03/04/13	6.1	10.3	63	2.94	48.10%	06/02/12
06/03/13	6.6	11	72	2.6	44.20%
08/08/13	6.4	11.1	101	1.89	29.70%
09/05/13	5.8	11.9	88	1.59	27.40%
12/05/13	5.5	12.7	88	1.29	23.70%
03/05/14	5.8	12.8	80	1.21	20.70%
08/14/14	3.9	12.8	85	0.89	22.60%
09/05/14	6.8	12.7	80	0.92	14.50%
03/05/15	5.9	13.2	90	0.67	13.40%
09/05/15	5.2	12.8	85	0.64	12.20%
	Normal WBC	Normal HGB	Normal PLT	Normal ALC	Normal Ly
	4.0-10.6	12.8-17.0	150	1.0-3.7	16.2% to 48.2%

My Journey

I received this the other morning, and thought I would share it will all of you. This is something I would like to be able to write, but I am not gifted enough to say it like Pastor John Glenn. What he wrote is as follows:

One of the most serious obstacles we face in American Christianity is the confusion between true spirituality and religiosity. Many people get the two confused because of the natural, human tendency to equate being spiritual with being religious. To them, spirituality is simply a new lifestyle of religious activities such as church attendance, or membership and faithful involvement in a religious organization. Those who regularly engage in such religious activities or rituals are thought to be “spiritual” as opposed to those who do not.

Because of this confusion it is best to operationally define our terms. Religion may be defined as a system of rules and customs based on orthodoxy that is generally imposed on individuals who are born into the system and raised to obey its practices without question. It has a tendency to formalize, ritualize, and legalize individual experience and expression of spirituality; and is generally concerned with understanding and applying some form of spirituality to improve the human experience while also reinforcing the religious rules and customs.

Spirituality, on the other hand, is more fundamental than the various religions that may grow out of it. It is highly personal, unique to the individual, experienced from within, and cannot be explained or contained in a system of rules and customs. It is rooted in the spiritual nature of the individual, not in the collective experience of the culture. At its core, spirituality is the recognition of a spiritual reality, the personal realization of that spiritual reality, and the expression of reverence for that which is spiritual.

Because true spirituality is so vital to functional living and healthy relationships, it should come as no surprise that the enemy would seek to undermine it with a counterfeit. In an effort to maintain our false identify in the flesh, the carnal mind immediately seeks to feign acceptability and, therefore, worth by turning all of its attention to becoming religious. It is all too happy to “dress itself up and take itself to church”. There it can engage in its own plan of self improvement for its own glory. Remember, false assumptions of personal worth don’t always look false! The evil thoughts of “I will be worthy if… can be completed with good looking religious activities such as church attendance, worship activities, and outward compliance with a moral set of standards. The end result of such infantile thinking in the baby Christian is what Paul warned as “falling from grace”. Such was the case for the Pharisees of Jesus day.

In this sense religion has always been the enemy of the cross of Christ. Biblical history records many examples of the terrible consequences of religiosity beginning with Cain murdering his brother, Abel. The fleshly attempt of Sarah and Abraham to fulfill the promise of God through their own natural means; the repeated failure of Israel as a nation to keep the law of Moses; the rejection and persecution of the prophets; and the continual opposition of the Pharisees to the grace and truth of Christ all illustrate the historical tendency toward and dangers of religiosity.

Satan being able to transform himself into an “angel of light” and his servants into “ministers of the gospel” demonstrates the deception of religiosity. His most subtle lies are based on “half-truths” that often sound religious and on the surface appear to be good. The “seducing spirits” Paul warns of in 2 Timothy are religious in nature suggesting that we may guarantee our worth as persons by a flurry of religious activities, emotional experiences, and intellectual insights. The blinding power of Satan always involves turning our attention away from the good news of all that God has done for us to focus on what we need to do, feel, or think to make ourselves worthy. This is the core of religiosity that literally denies the gospel and blasphemes the work of Christ on our behalf. As a result, most of the historical crimes against humanity were committed in the name of religion (witness the period of crusades as well as the modern day jihads).

True spirituality, however, is based on an authentic faith in what God has, is, and will do for us to make us worthy as persons. Such faith produces a genuine hope (confident expectation of our future) that allows us to care about someone besides ourselves. True spirituality is simply trusting God to meet our own needs so that we can be used of him to meet the needs of others. Those who are “spiritual” are those who are indwelled by the Spirit God and experience his personal comfort and direction in their lives. Ironically enough, true spirituality doesn’t look very religious at all. That’s why it was the religious people who cried “crucify him!”

Johnj

If you would like to hear more of what Pastor Glenn says, go to www.alphaministries.org

My Journey

As most of you know by now,  I have CLL (Chronic Lympocytic Leukemia) and finally found out what the percentage of my 17p deletion was, I calmly accepted it, realizing once again that God has known from the beginning what it was. I know it did not come as a suprise to Him.

With that in mind I was reading a article from my favorite pastor, Pastor John Glenn.  I saw myself in this article, so I would like to share a few of these thoughts as well as some of mine own.

Hebrews 12: 1,2, “Wherefore, seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doeth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.“

These words were given to all believers to help them realize the significance of their lives here on this earth. They were written to encourage everyone, but as I read them, I saw them as being written clearly for my encouragement.  I, as well as every believer in Jesus Christ is viewed by the writer as Olympic athletes running a race in front of a heavenly crowd of those who have gone on before us. So I am told to “lay aside every weight” or the bondage of the law, and the “besetting sin” of my natural unbelief so I may run with endurance the race that I am in. In short, I am to run my race in the grace of God rather than the energy of my own religious flesh.

The key to my victory in this race is looking unto “Jesus the author and finisher of our faith“. He is the author and originator of my faith, and he is the finisher, the one who will complete it in me. It is in his strength that I can run the race and his joy that gives me the endurance I need to finish my course.

Even though it appeared to all that Jesus was losing, especially as he hung on the cross; his resurrection from the dead and ascension to the throne of God proves that he was victorious. The writer of Hebrews tells me that what motivated Jesus through the difficult times was the joy he experienced in submitting to the will of the Father. Because of that joyful and confident expectation of his ultimate victory, Jesus was able to “despise the shame” by enduring all that was involved in his sacrifice on the cross and completing his work of saving humanity.

 As I run the race that is set before me, I too may experience some difficult times in which it looks like I am going to lose somehow. I should not expect to avoid the hard times, but seek to endure them in the same joy that motivated Jesus.

When I finish my race, it is my hope and my prayer, that my grandchildren know that I have fought a good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith.

Each of us has our own unique race to run in the grace of God. All who believe on Jesus are called to do his works and greater because he has gone back to the Father and left us here to love one another.

Thanks be to God who has made all who believe in Jesus Christ, more than conquerors.

My Journey

It has been awhile since my last blog, but honestly, I was just not in the proper frame of mind to write anything.

Let me begin by telling you that I had very high hopes of getting into a clinical trial that looked to be the answer to my SLL/CLL 17p deletion problem. My doctor ordered all the tests I needed to send for my approval of entering the trial. I was told that I was perfect for this trial, especially as no other therapies offered good results for me. The day I received my results, and was getting them ready to mail, I received a call from the Chief doctor of the clinical trial, informing me that the trail had been filled, and there were no more spaces for me.

After several hours of concern, doubt, and worry, these words entered my mind. We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.

I say this with humility, but never less it is true. I slept very good that night, and so far every night since then.

I was reminded this morning, of that day, and wanted to share this.

One main problem with walking by faith is it often causes us to worry. Why is that? Well “faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” It is impossible to walk by faith and see or know how something, or for that matter anything, is going to work out. In fact, the more we want to walk by faith the more evidence we see that things are not working out so well. We continually imagine how they could work out, or how they should work out, but usually end up disappointed as one scheme after another seems to fall apart.

I believe this is why Jesus broke this faith business down for us in the Sermon on the Mount. When Jesus calls on us to quit worrying about our lives so much, He uses the analogy of the birds and wildflowers in nature. In this sermon, He illustrates the faithfulness of God to meet our needs continuously. Jesus says, “take no thought of your life, or what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor for your body to what you should wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing.” In other words, stop worrying and scheming to make things happen. Then He talks about God taking care of the birds, and how the flowers grow without having to do anything. Then Jesus concludes with, “if God does this for the birds and flowers, don’t you realize that He will do even more for you, ye of little faith.” He then reminds us that no amount of worry can change us in any way, and calls on us to focus our attention on God’s kingdom and His righteousness instead.                                                                                                              

I know this will sound contrary to most; Christians as well as non-christians. For most of us plan daily to do what is needed to succeed.  But I say that living in these times, being that most are living on the edge, this admonition to stop worrying is just as relevant today as it was when Jesus gave this sermon 2000 years ago.              

Jesus hits the nail on the head when he refers to us as, “ye of little faith”.  Please realize that this statement from Jesus is not so much a rebuke as it is an explanation of our problem. It’s not that we don’t have enough faith (the faith as small as a mustard seed is enough to move mountains), but that we seldom use the faith we have been given. Rather than trust God to do what He says He will do, we prefer to worry, complain, and then attempt to fix the problem as quick as possible. Have you noticed how quickly we forget about things God has miraculously provided for us in the past? That’s because faith must be exercised daily rather than just once in a while.

Jesus knows we are going to worry about our lives each day, so He directs us to “seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness”. Instead of thinking about our own needs and planning how we are going to get them met, we are told to seek the kingdom of God. This is the place where God is in charge and makes all the decisions. Seeking this kingdom means that we actually want and trust Him to decide what needs to be done regardless of what it may mean to us personally. Plus we are to seek His righteousness, meaning that we are to concern ourselves with living out the life of Christ in the midst of our circumstances. Our lives are much more than what we have and experience in this physical world, we who believe in Christ Jesus, are really awesome spirit beings who are inseparably joined to Christ. He may make our life comfortable in this country, by His mercy, but we are not here just to be comfortable and have a good time. We are here to be Christ to others! We are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus unto good works which He before ordained that we should walk in them.

Instead of worrying about what is going to happen to me tomorrow, I am called to deal with who I am, and what my purpose is today. Do I have what I need to love others like Christ right now? Can I actually care about others around me today? I have enough problems to deal with today; so I need not worry, nor scheme about those that are coming tomorrow.

Our calling of God in Christ Jesus is summarized by the new command to love others like Christ. That we can do no matter what circumstances we face each day. By exercising that tiny faith I have been given, I attempt to love others believing the promise of God. I’ll attempt to face tomorrow the same way.

My Journey

Good morning to all, on this beautiful sunny, warm day in the south.

I thought I would again post my paper on “Why Disease, Hatred, Sickness and Death.” For many who have read it before, know it is my testimony of why I believe I have SLL/CLL, and what really happened. I last posted this paper Sept. 2011, and since then made some revisions. For those of you who have already read it, you will find additions, and hopefully I have made it a little easier to understand my thoughts.

Around the country, we continue to hear about the economic recession, and job loss. Around the world we hear about the latest terrorist attacks. Innocent children are dying of starvation, people are dying of cancer, heart disease, and so on. What in the world has gone wrong? How could a good God create a world so full of disease, pain and death? Pain and suffering afflict even the most seemingly innocent people. Animals rip other animals apart in a desperate attempt to survive. How could any rational person think a benevolent being was behind so much death and suffering?

I have SLL/CLL, that is small lymphocyte lymphoma/chronic lymphocyte leukemia. A cancer in the lymphodes and blood. There is no current cure for these cancers. So why did I get cancer? Some have asked, “Why do you have cancer?” You have been a Christian for 33 years, you have told other about Christ, taught Sunday school, even preached in some churches. I thought God loved you, you are part of His family, why would He do this thing to you?

Well is it God who did this to me, or is it something else that did? The following is what really happened!

Lets take a look at what God did do. Day 1&2 – God created the heavens and the earth and separated the waters from the waters, and He saw that it was good. Day 3 – He made dry land, and saw that it was good, then grass, trees, seed, and saw that it was good. Day 4 – He made the sun, moon, stars, and saw that it was good. Day 5 – God created birds and fish, and saw that it was good. Day 6 – Animals, man and woman were made by Him, and He saw everything He had made, and behold, it was very good.

So what happened? When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. When Adam ate of the fruit, the human race had the death penalty placed on it. God told Adam, to eat of every tree in the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin, so death passed upon all men, for all have sinned. We all have Adams DNA, and we all choose to sin.

The tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil – How do we know what is good and what is evil? Where does this knowledge come from? The law, commandments, came by Moses. We also learn the law and laws, from out parents, then school, then peers, then work, society, and church. All religions have some sort of laws, or rules. Governments have rules and laws, Christians, Athiest, Evolutionist, all have rules and laws. We even know it by nature, it is written on our hearts. For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; because that which may be known of God is manifest in them, for God hath shewed it unto them. For the invisible things of Him from creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead; so that they (we) are without excuse.

But the Law is Good – Is the law of God evil? Of course not! It showed me my sin. When I learned the law, I realized I had broke it. So the law that was to show me life, gave me the death penalty instead. Sin took a good law and used it to make me guilty, so death pursued. But the law didn’t change, it is still holy, right, and good. How can that be, the law that is good, brought my condemnation. It didn’t, sin used what was good to bring condemnation. That’s how terrible sin really is. The law is good then, the trouble is with me, because I have sin as my master. So by the deeds of the law, there shall no flesh be justified in His sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin. So what is the conclusion for sin?

THE WAGES OF SIN, OR OUR PAYMENT FOR SIN IS DEATH. 

So why do I, and others get cancer that has no cure, and can and does cause death? Why are you going to die? Whether from old age, accidents, diseases, war, you name it, all of us, and those who are considered the very best of us will die. Why? Because of the law, which gave us the knowledge of sin, which Adam and all of us chose by disobeying God. So I must conclude that God didn’t cause me to have cancer, my race and I chose it.

These are the facts as I see and read them. No scare tactics, not trying to get you to live a better life. Why, even when we try, we fail daily and completely more often than not. For the good that I would, I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. So we can all conclude that no one does good, we try, but we fail, why, because we are born in sin, born self centered, self important, wanting, etc.

There’s got to be a better way? Yes, there is, Jesus said – “I am the resurrection and the life, anyone that believes in me, though you were dead, yet shall you live.” This is good news, true news, needed news, and eternal life giving news. Do you realize that the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death, and knowing that Christ being raised from the dead, dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him.

Question: so what happens when some one asks Christ to save them? We are buried with Jesus by baptism into death, and as Christ was raised up from the dead, we are raised with Him. (This is not the physical water baptism we see in churches.)  So if we are with Him in death, we will be with Him in His resurrection. Knowing this, our old man is crucifed with Him, we should not serve sin. For he that is dead is freed from sin. Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that Christ being raised from the dead, dieth no more; death has no more dominion over Him. Christ died unto sin once, and now lives unto God. So realize that your are dead indeed to sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Yes, but I still sin. Sin still persists, because you and I still have these physical bodies. Our cursed physical bodies have not died yet. (We still have physical death, sickness, disease, and so on.) It is our cursed and eternal sinful spirit that I am talking about.

God said that He formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living soul.

We are a new creation in Christ, born again with a new nature, God now sees our new nature, even though we are still stuck in our physical bodies. Notice that I said “God now see our new nature. He only sees Christ in us, His Spirit in us, and our born again spirit in Him, perfect, loved, loving, sinless, that will live forever. So then, it is my old body, my physical body (sins of the flesh) that is going to die. It is the sins of the flesh which is still under the law, and is emnity with God, that will die. In Christ, God only sees you and me as righteous, as Christ is righteous. My new man, my new nature, my spirit, in my new body, is what is living forever, and not just forever, but forever with Christ.

So how do I ask Christ to save me? Repent and believe. What does it mean to repent? To change direction 180 degrees. In other words, change what you believe, and believe the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Some become Christians, and to change (repent), start going to church, try feeding the poor, give to charity, and on and on (by the way, these are good things, and Christians are called to love and help others).  But after awhile, we tire of doing these things. our feelings may have been hurt by another Christian, we are young in our Christian walk, and believe things that others tell us, things that God does not say in His word. Things become more important, and doing good, becomes less and less a part of our lives. Not only that, but we find sin has reared up its ugly face again, and even worst, we are not only sinning, but we are living with a spirit of self-righteousness, judging others, their life styles, their dress, and even their words. Look, speak out for your values, for your beliefs, share the Gospel of Jesus Christ, but only because you love others, not because you condemn them. If your repentence is condemning, you have gone back to that which you have been freed from, the law of the knowledge of good and evil. So be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God.

To repent, is to stop believing that as a believer, you are under the law of Moses, instead believe now that you are under Gods grace. Christ fulfilled that law, and paid the penalty of death for it, so you are no longer condemned by it. Change what you think, not what you do. God will take care of the doing.

But what if I seek to be made right with God through faith in Jesus Christ, and find out that I am still a sinner? Has Christ led me into sin? Of course not! Rather I make myself guilty if I rebuild the old system I already tore down. For when I tried to keep the law, I realized I could never earn God’s approval. So I died to the law, so that I may live for God. I have been crucified with Christ. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God. I am not one of those that treats the grace of God as meaningless. For if I could be saved by keeping the law, then there was no need for Christ to die. So if you chose to put your faith in Christ, do not at a later time try to become perfect by your own human effort.

What is the Gospel? The good news about Jesus Christ. That Christ came, died, rose again, and anyone who believes in Him, will have eternal life, with Him. It is not more, nor is it nothing less than that. No human religion, no religious acts, no good deeds, nothing but Christ. The Bible declares that the gospel which was preached, is for you to receive, and has been received by many, wherein you may stand. It also states that by this gospel, you also are saved. Just remember what it says, otherwise your belief is in vain. For what was told and then written, and now delivered unto you, and that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; and that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures. This is the Gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ.

So I can’t sin anymore. Wow, so I can do anything and it will be okay, right! Many believe that they can sin, because we are not under the law anymore, but under grace. God forbid, know ye not that to whom you yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness. But God be thanked, that you were servants of sin, but you have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being made free from sin, you became servants of righteousness. Once you belong to Christ, and find yourself fighting not to sin, know it is your old nature (fIesh), that wants to sin. Remember you are a new creation in Christ, never having sinned, not sinning now, and will not sin in the future.

I live in this physical body, trying daily to obey the law (commandments), even though I know that my eternal spirit, is no longer judged, nor accused by those laws. I thank God, through Jesus Christ my Lord for that. So then with my spirit, I serve the law of God, but with the flesh, the law of sin. There is therefore no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

I must point out here that walking, in the Spirit is characterized by the thoughts, beliefs and attitudes held by each of us, and serving the law of God, only happens by a continual reliance upon the power of the Holy Spirit, not on our ability, to overcome the power of sin in the flesh.

So how does Gods law tell us to live in the Spirit? Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Please note that not everyone who calls themselves Christian, are believers in Christ. Christ said, “many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in your name? And in your name have cast out devils? And in your name done many wonderful things. And then Christ will profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, you that work iniquity.” Christ does not say, look I knew you, but you screwed up, so you are not saved anymore, no He does not say that. He says I never knew you.

The time is fulfilled and the Kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe the gospel, these are Christ words. For by grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works which God has before ordained that we should walk in them. So please remember, the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.

What does that mean? Grace and truth came by Jesus Christ. We live our lives under the law, we then ask Jesus to save us, He does, then we try to do good things, we work to keep our salvation. We usually fail, give up, and worry that we might not be saved. Yes as I said earlier, do good works, but don’t count it for righteousness. Work out your own salvation, with fear and trembling, for it is God that works in you, both to will and to do His good pleasure. Notice we are not told here to work for our salvation, but to work it out, or demonstrate its reality in our daily lives. Our salvation must be entirely received by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, or else it is not true salvation. Inclusive yes, but it is not me that said that, it is Jesus Christ himself that did. “I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father, but by me.” Again Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life, anyone that believe in me, though they were dead, yet shall they live.” Yes it is inclusive, but free for all to join, so tell others about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If you join me in this story, don’t try to make anyone believe it, nor condemn them if they don’t, just tell them.

Sanctify the Lord in your hearts; and be ready always to give an answer to anyone who asks you a reason of your hope that is in you, with meekness and fear.

Christ and only Christ saves, nothing else. My eternal spirit will live forever, in my new resurrected body (I trust Christ only). How about you? Some will live forever with Christ, and some will live with the spirit of the old man, old sinful nature, paying the wages of sin by living an eternal spiritual death, separated  from Christ, cursing the fact that they are eternal beings, in a bottomless pit, with no way out. The bottomless pit that was made for fallen angels, but many of us chose to go there also.

The Bible has something to say about this choice. And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of the things that were written in the books, according to their works, and the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them, and they were judged, everyone according to their works. And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And whosever was not found written in the book of life, was cast into the lake of fire.

Those who are in prisons, that is behind bars, or those who are behind bars in their own mind, fears, emotions, and diseases, know the burden of the law first hand. It takes away many freedoms, dreams, joys, and much more. This life is sometimes hard for us, and for some, very hard, but what’s to come, may be harder, and definitely longer. Who wants this for an eternity!

If the opportunity ever arises, please read Luke 16:19-31 and then answer this question: Will you be the one who will not be persuaded, neither will one raised from the dead, persuade you.

But not as the offense, so also is the free gift; for if by the offense of one, many did die, much more the grace of God, and the free gift in grace of the man Jesus Christ, abound to many.

Speak the truth with humility and love. Walk in the same way Christ did. Christ tells His disciples just before He left, “A new commandment I give unto you, love one another as I have loved you, that you also love one another, and this is my commandment, that you love one another, as I have loved you.

We live in a world of choas, hurricanes, tornado’s, floods, sickness, children starving, wars, people killing each other. Do you now, or can you now see that it is not God who causes or caused these things, but man. When God created everything, on those first six days, He said everything was good, very good.

The judgement on man, which affects the whole universe, came when man freely chose to disobey, and sin and death entered into man, and all creation was cursed. We must conclude with this, disease, pain and death, innocent children dying, people dying of cancer, heart disease, is not because of what God did, but because of what we, as a human race did, and do now to ourselves, and others. It is you and I who are part of that race. But thank God for Jesus Christ, who came, was born a human, died as a human, paying the death penalty for sin, for the human race. Then rose again, bodily, defeating death forever. So I conclude that I have cancer, not because of what God did, but because of what I, as part of the human race did. I thank God for Jesus Christ who came, was born, died, and rose again, all this for you and me.

Finally for my friends who love riding their motorcycles, like I do.

Strong: Physically powerful, great physical power, muscular body, and great strength.

Tough: Able to withstand great strain without tearing or breaking. Resilient, firm in texture, but flexible and not brittle. Able to withstand adverse conditions, or rough or careless handling. Will bend, twist, without tearing or breaking. Does anyone see a difference between the two?

Learn to hang around with the one who is really tough. He left glory, cloaked His glory, became a man, falsely accused, found guilty of breaking the law. Beaten, cut, stabbed, laughed at, mocked, nailed to a cross, only said, forgive them Father, they know not what they do. This same man could have weakened, broke, and destroyed everything and everyone, just with speaking only a word. but chose instead to be tough. Why? because he cared about you and me so much, that He would die, so we may live. But God commendeth His love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

                                                                                                                                                                        Jack Rowe 2011

                                                                                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

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My Journey

It has been awhile since I last posted anything, so I thought I would bring everyone up to date on what’s happening.

As I said in a previous blog, I have a 17p deletion, which is the worst one to have in the game of SLL/CLL. Life span is not usually to good for those with this deletion. Somewhere around 32 months, where as I have had this cancer going on 52 months so far. I am still on watch and wait, and am real happy about that, as no current chemotherapy works very well on this deletion. Sounds bad, but all of this time, I have felt quite healthy, occasionally having bouts with shortness of breath, excessive bleeding, but really nothing that stopped me from living my life as I always have.

Many have been working on finding something that will work on this 17p, and as I have been reading, I have been seeing that two new therapies are being tested, and are in their third phase of tests. PCI-32765 and  CAL-101. It looks as if they are targeted drugs, and are in pill form. They have not been approved yet, but there is much promise in them, and hopefully will be approved for human use soon. The PCI-32765 has shown to be quite promising for those of us with the 17p deletion.

The following is from the National Cancer Institute, April 2, 2012. Investigational targeted drug induces responses in aggressive lymphomas

Preliminary results from clinical trials in a subtype of lymphoma show that for a number of patients whose disease was not cured by other treatments, the drug ibrutinib (formly called PCI-32765) can provide significant anti-cancer responses with  modest side effects.

Lymphomas are the fifth most common form of cancer. They are caused by an abnormal proliferation of white blood cells, can occur at any age,  and are often marked by lymph nodes that are larger than normal, fever, and weight loss. Diffuse large B-cell lymphomas (DLBCL), which were studied in this trial, are aggressive cancers that grow rapidly and represent 30 percent to 40 percent of newly diagnosed lymphomas. DLBCL originates from B cells, which play a crucial role in the body’s immune response.

Based on this molecular research, investigators chose to use the drug ibrutinib (formerly PCI-32765), a potent inhibitor of BTK, in their clinical trials. Ibrutinib is an oral, highly specific and irreversible inhibitor of the BTK enzyme.

Participants in these studies were given ibrutinib as a pill at a fixed dose of 560 milligrams daily until the disease progresses. Ibrutinib  induced multiple responses including some complete remissions in ABC        lymphomas. Remissions were also observed in patients with non-ABC DLBCL, suggesting a broader role for the B-cell receptor pathway in this type of lymphoma. A final analysis will provide additional insights into the safety and efficacy of ibrutinib in the treatment of DLBCL.

I know that the above may be uninteresting reading to some of you, but thank you for reading it anyway. There are some who read this blog that are going through this fight right now, and I hope that if they have not seen this information yet, reading this blog with lift their spirit. It is my hope that these new therapies will be effective for those whose current therapies just will not work.

For me currently, I have been feeling real good since my last visit to the doctor, so good, that I sometimes wonder if they made a mistake in my diagnosis. Wouldn’t that be nice.  Anyway I have been doing really good, I have no pains, spleen, stomach, or neck, and no night sweats. It seems that some of the tumors that I had in my neck have gotten really small, and some of the bumps on my back are gone.

I am eating more than I had been, and I work around the place more each day, because I am not losing my breath at all, and I don’t get tired as easily as I did before. At my last visit, my doctor was surprised that the aggressiveness of my cancer looked to  have stopped. He did not know why, but was pleased, as was I.

Again I have to thank all those who have been praying for me, and I have been thanking the Great Physician. I am reminded of one of my motorcycle club members, that was told he had throat cancer, stage 4, and had five months to live. He told the doctor that he was going to talk with the Great Physician, and the doctors reply was, if you change doctors, you will not be covered by your insurance here any longer. (That was two years ago, and his last tests showed he no longer had throat cancer).

So with this dear doctor in mind, I am talking about Jesus Christ, the one who said, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For MY yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

I will be seeing my Oncologist on April 26th, and I have no idea what my blood results will be, but one thing I am sure of. It is God who knows the number of my days, and until that number is up, I will be here enjoying and marveling at all He has created.

But what if I seek to be made right with God through faith in Jesus Christ, and find out that I am still a sinner? has Christ led me into sin? Of course not! Rather I make myself guilty if I rebuild the old system I already tore down. For when I tried to keep the law, I realized I could never earn God’s approval. so I died to the law, so that I may live for God. I have been crucified with Christ. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God. I am not one of those that treats the grace of God as meaningless. For if I could be saved by keeping the law, then there was no need for Christ to die.      Galatians 2

So if you chose to put your faith in Christ, do not at a later time try to become perfect, by your own human effort.

http://justin.tv/alphamin – great live Sunday service at 11:00 am. If you don’t like mountain music, then tune in around 11:20 am. I guarantee that you have not ever heard, what you will hear there.

God bless, and keep the faith

My Journey

I will be drifting a bit today from my usual format. I had a very interesting conversation with someone the other day, and thought it may be important enough to tell some of it here.

After telling someone that I believed in the God of the Bible by faith. I then said that it was also a rational faith.The reply I received was,  Isn’t “rational faith” an oxymoron? Faith, by christian definition is “the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen.” So, rationally, how can one have faith in something that by its very definition is irrational and impossible to verify firsthand?

The belief in an invisible person who lives in the sky, but also made the entire earth by talking really loud for 6 days isn’t only laughable, it’s ridiculous. I don’t mean that disrespectfully, but c’mon. For crying out loud, Mt. Rushmore took years to complete, and that was just carving faces into Granite.

Here is my reply.

The Bible also say in 1Peter3:15 – Always be ready to give a defense to anyone who asked for a reason for the hope that is in you.

Christopher Hitchens, who was an Atheist, said that the question of the existence and identity of God is nothing less than the most powerful and urgent question humanity will ever confront and I agree with that.

So I have looked at both sides, material and immaterial ways, concluding that laws of logic, uniformity of nature, and morality are consistent with the God of the Bible. They are not and can not be intellectually consistent with secularism. So when looking at the things that are seen, I learn from them, but do not focus on them. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal – 2 Corinthians 4:18.

I can offer you secular evidence over evidence of why after first believing in Jesus Christ, by faith,  I now rationally see why I have a hope, in the things that our unseen.

After pointing out some of the reasons, which are to long for this post, I went on to say, I could give more examples, but to what purpose? You said – “Okay, I don’t believe this anymore. I never really did.”  I asked, Why have you never believed it before, and you said it is because church members can’t give answers? I will respectfully tell you it may not be because of church members, you do not believe. I seldom got good answers from  church members (religious people), when I first put my faith in Christ, and quite frankly, I still don’t get good answers from many of them.

So I decided to be diligent to present myself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15.

I would like to point out here, that even though I do not get good answers from many church members, I do know that there are many, many, who do have extensive knowledge and wisdom of Jesus Christ, that is  far beyond mine.

I am sure that you already know, that no one can convince you of God, it is only God that makes believing even possible. Only you have the choice of whether to believe or not.

Finally you said, I want to know how people can believe in things that are just so unbelievable, that if they were presented in another way, they’d be ridiculed and laughed out the door.

I actual think the same thing about people who believe the universe is billions of years old, and that we came about by chance. Especially when you said that Mt. Rushmore took years to complete. What you neglected to say, was that Mt.Rushmore had a designer, and a maker. We unquestionable recognize that, but laugh at that thought for a much more complicated design. It was not rain and water that sculptured those faces. It is amazing to me that when people see my glasses, some have said, man what a nice design, who made those? Yet when they look at my eyes behind those glasses they unwittingly think they just happened by chance. I have to laugh, but I don’t, the subject is too important.

I am hoping that some of what I said will cause this person to look at this life with more thought and reasoning, instead of just hoping he or she is right.

Here’s wishing for a great day to all of you.

My Journey

I would like to say Happy New Year to everyone who is reading my blog. Of course that wish extends to all my friends, neighbors, and family. I may not get to speak to everyone in my family, on this first day of January 2012, due to several reasons. However, if I did, I would certainly wish them the best year that they have ever had. So here is hoping that all my children, grandchildren, and great-granddaughter have the best 2012 ever, and may the years that follow, even be better.

To those who are fighting cancer, I want to wish them a very special new year. May this new year bring you hope, and success. For me, I will be seeing whether I will be in chemo this year for my SLL/CLL. I continue to hope that I  will not, and continue to be healthy enough to put it off for yet another year. Being on watch and wait for some is not acceptable, but for me, I prefer it. I believe the longer my body fights this leukemia, the better off I will be in the long run. But honestly, I realize that it may be a losing battle, but until then, I will defer from chemotherapy.

A very good friend of mine sent me this news article, from FoxNews.com, this morning(1/1/2012) –5 Medical Advances Predicted for 2012 –

Prediction 1: Medicine gets closer to treating cancer with vaccines. Radiation and chemotherapy reign as the go-to treatments for cancer, but for  20 years researchers also have been exploring the use of therapeutic vaccines.  In 2012 that work may come to fruition. “It’s an exciting time for cancer  vaccine development,” said Dr. Larry Kwak, professor and chairman of  lymphoma and myeloma at the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in  Houston.

“What’s especially impressive is the diversity of cancer vaccine. It bodes well for what you’re going to be seeing in the future,” Kwak said. More than 250 clinical  trials of vaccines, including 34 for breast cancer, are under way, according  to the National Cancer Institute.

Like other vaccines, cancer vaccines use a chemical marker of a disease (in one case, a virus; in another, a malignant tumor) to train a person’s immune  system to fight the disease.

But unlike vaccines for the flu or chicken pox, which are preventive, “we  almost uniformly vaccinate after cancer is there,” Kwak said. Some cancer vaccines in development could be administered to many people,  while others – including Kwak’s vaccine for follicular lymphoma – would have to  be tailored to each patient’s tumors.

Kwak’s vaccine has passed Phase III trials and is moving toward the final  steps of regulatory approval.  The U.S. Food and Drug Administration  approved the first cancer vaccine, called Provenge, in the spring of 2010 for  the treatment of prostate cancer. A vaccine for melanoma performed well in the final stages of clinical trials last year. “What ties them together is they are activating the immune system so it’s primed and ready to fight,” Kwak said.

The National Cancer Institute reports there are ongoing clinical trials for  therapeutic vaccines to treat bladder, breast, cervical, kidney, lung,  pancreatic and other forms of cancer.

So this new year has it hope for new treatments, that will not make us feel worse than before we had any treatment. I do want to say though, that chemotherapy has also come a long way. As I have read about my, small lymphocytic lymphoma/chronic lymphocytic leukemia, I have learned that some of the newest treatments in chemotherapy is very successful. Full remission can last many years, and in some cases, the cancer does not show it ugly face ever again.

In my case, I have been told that I will be given FCR, which is currently considered the best treatment for what I have. So I must be clear, that even though I would prefer not to have to have chemotherapy, I thank God, who has given these wonderful and caring researchers and doctors, the ability to discover these new chemo procedures that have offered extended life to those fighting cancer.

So to all a very happy, successful, joyful, and healthy new year.

		Knowing that man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law, shall no flesh be justified. Galatians 2:16.

My Journey

As I was reading this morning, I came across an article that talked about a question Steve Jobs asked his pastor in a Christian church. His question, can be found in the biography of Steve Jobs, by Walter Isaacson.

He was thirteen, attending a Christian church, and after looking at the cover of a magazine showing starving children, he asked,  “If I raise my finger, will God know which one I am going to raise even before I do it?” The pastor answered, “Yes, God knows everything.” Steve then pulled out the Life cover and asked, “Well does God know about this and what’s going to happen to those children?” The pastors reply was, “Steve, I know you don’t understand, but yes, God knows about that.” Steve Jobs announced that he didn’t want to have anything to do with worshipping such a God, and he never went back to church.

As you find out more about Steve Jobs, you realize that he did not only have an eye for design, and ease of use for his Macs. You will find that he was also a deeply spiritual man, always looking for peace and enlightenment. He spent some time in a commune, went to India to seek counsel of gurus, and was committed to Zen Buddhism.

What could this pastor have told Steve, who at thirteen, had a young inquisitive, thinking mind, like so many of that age do. What if he had told him what the Bible really says about those things? Did he not know, was he ashamed to say, or was he just not interested enough in the eternal soul of this young boy? I will not pretend to know why, however what ever the reason, if you, I or that pastor, do not answer this question truthfully, knowledgeably, and lovingly, we fall far short of the goal we have been given.

If you are like me, and most are, as I am just an average, everyday person, with nothing special to brag about, but happy with what I have. Then you may have attended a church, as a young person, where you learned about Jesus. You were told how much God loves you, about Jesus telling others that he was the way. You listened to stories about a flood that God sent to kill all but eight people, and how God parted the water for Moses to walk through. You and I were told that God knows everything, every time, everywhere, and that He loves us so much that His son died for us.

Then you grow up, now you are seventeen, maybe twenty, and your brain is better developed, and you begin to question things that you were told about God. You have memorized some verses from the Bible, and even read part of it sometimes, but now, you have many questions. Some you let go, but some, no matter what or who you ask, do not convince you, that what you were told when you were small, is really true. So you read other things, different books on religions, money, cultures, etc, searching for something, maybe not knowing at the time, but searching like Steve did, to fill a desire that has not been met.

Was Steve told that God made a world without any death or suffering. Was he told that the first man God created, Adam, rebelled against a loving, righteous God, and by doing that, Adam brought death to all the human race, and corruption to God’s perfect creation. Could Steve have been told, that the mess we see today in this world, and have through all the ages, is man’s fault, not God’s. The children Steve Jobs saw suffering was because of the sin that has corrupted the perfect world God made. My daughter, who reads the Bible, and is not afraid to ask questioned about it, asked me this question several weeks ago. “Dad, I don’t understand why God, who can do anything lets children starve.” I answered her by saying, “God is not letting children starve, He still brings the sunshine, and rain, that make fruits, and vegetable grow.” “Animals eat grass, to grow, so we have meat to eat.” It is man who stops food from reaching those starving; the United States, as well as other countries send millions of pounds of food, everyday, to nations with starving people.” “The sad fact is that more often than not, those in charge of these countries, take the food for themselves, for profit, or to force subjection to the very ones we try to help.” It is not God doing that, it is man, corrupt, hateful, greedy, sinful.”

Steve Jobs is not the first person to struggle with this issue. Many reject Christianity because they could not understand how a loving God could allow all the death and suffering in the world. It is a crucial question that every Christian needs to know how to answer. We cannot know what Steve would have decided if he had heard what God’s Word really says about suffering and death. But for sure the lack of an answer got in his way of finding the truth of the Bible.

Jesus Christ stepped into history and tasted death for us. The tragedy here is, did Steve Jobs, not hearing the Bible’s real explanation, turn away from Jesus Christ, the Creator and Saviour?