Well August arrived, and I had decided to ride my motorcycle up north, traveling around 3000 miles roundtrip. My wife would fly up, as riding on the back of a bike that far, is not comfortable for the rider. I decided that I would go to my doctor’s appointment, in the morning, and after seeing the doctor, I would continue on north.

After having my blood tests, the doctor called me into the office, and told me that my blood platelets were down to 53K, and was concerned that if they dropped any lower, I would not be able to start chemo, if required to do so. I was told that chemo may have to be started soon. I told my doctor, that I did not want to start chemo yet, and if at all possible, what could I do to put it off. I was told that nothing, other than medical intervention, was able to stop the progression of this cancer, and that I would have to come back in thirty days to check my blood counts again. My count had dropped from 78K to 53K in three months, and that concerned my doctor a lot. I left the office down hearted, thinking the meeting would show good results, instead they had shown that this cancer was only getting worse.

I got on my motorcycle, and headed north, recalling all the doctor had said. I was troubled, remembering that he had said that my spleen was very enlarged, and any impact to my chest area would result in immediate death. I would bleed to death, because my platelet count was so low, and my spleen was holding excessive blood. Whether, my mind played tricks on me that day, or not, I began hearing a loud noise coming from my motorcycle motor. It sounded as if a lifter was loose and I began to be concerned that the bike may not make it all the way up north. After traveling over 100 miles, I decided to turn back and go home, which I did. After arriving home, I made a reservation to fly north, with my wife. After returning, I took my bike over to a friend’s house, who knew a lot about motorcycles, and asked him to listen to the noise. Immediately he told me that nothing was wrong, the bike sound great. I believe my mind, that day, fearing what would happen, being alone,  over powered my deep desire to ride up north.

Anyway, I learned that fear is a powerful, yet sometimes quiet motivator, causing increased awareness of ones weaknesses. I also realize that God is in control, and apart from His personal intervention, He has provided His creation, the ablility to discover, invent, and produce ways to treat CLL.

 

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